


Let Them Talk

by Chibirini1



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Bodice-Ripper, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical References, Loss of Virginity, marie antoinette - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2018-12-16 08:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11824500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibirini1/pseuds/Chibirini1
Summary: She was married to him before they even first met eyes. In the grand court of Naboo where every step is watched, Rey must navigate through the intrigue and secrecy while her relationship with her husband blooms under the most interesting circumstances. A Marie-Antoinette retelling, Reylo style.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Marie Antoinette inspired fic! Although I've read many books on the subject, there will be some inaccuracies, my apologies. Please leave comments, they feed my feeble fire of inspiration! Thank you for reading.

The day Rey met Kylo, she was already married to him.

They had been married by proxy before Rey even set foot in the country, before she even left her home in Jakku. So when her eyes first laid on his tall, strong figure, before he even turned and locked eyes with her, she knew they were already bonded.

She was always meant to be his bride, even before she knew it. When she was a child, roaming the streets of Jakku, she was engaged. Her mother, a princess, had married a commoner and had been cast out of the family. She and Rey’s father lived a simple life until Rey was five and they both died of disease. After that, Rey was an orphan and had roamed the streets, unaware of her royal blood until she had been found, at age twelve, by royal spies that had been searching for her for years. She had unknowingly eluded them for ages because she was fast and careful—she trusted no one, and relied on only herself.

She was examined and compared to portraits of her mother, and finally presented to her uncle Unkar, who was king. He was old, slimy, and greedy. She had wanted to escape, but this time, there was no way for her to slip away. She was kept under guard and fed until she was no longer so skinny, and forced through all kinds of lessons. Dancing, etiquette, horseback riding, card playing. She was Reyla Antonia, heir to the throne of Jakku. She would have refused it all if it had not been for the reason of all this training and examinations: her engagement that had been established when she was little; she was to be married to the heir of the greatest country on Earth, Naboo. It was her chance to escape the harsh deserts of Jakku and even worse, her uncle. So she grit her teeth and learned every lesson, wore every corset and dress, and practiced her fighting skills in her bedroom at night so she wouldn’t lose her muscles or skill. Ambassadors of Naboo came and examined her, looked at her dancing and her teeth and hairline and finally approved her worthy. She was married by proxy to Kylo Ren the day after she turned seventeen, and only a few months later she was on the road to the lush, cool forests of Naboo.

Rey had never seen so much green in her life when she stepped out of the carriage. Her breath was stolen away, not by her incredibly tight corset, but by the sight. The trees were lush, as were the bushes and grass beneath her satin slippers. If she had been of lighter stock, she could have fainted. But she had never fainted in her life, and she wasn’t about to start now. She needed to make a good impression.

She was led to a large tent where dozens of beautifully dressed women stood, all of Naboo. Rey’s two attendants stood behind Rey respectfully, backing away when they were dismissed by an older woman.

Rey turned to watch them go, her lips parting to call them back. But the woman in front of her spoke warmly and beckoned her forward.

“My dear, I am Princess Leia Organa. I am to be your mother in law.”

She was beautiful, her long hair elegantly braided and done complexly. Her dress of light blue was perfectly ironed and fresh, and her brown eyes were warm. Relieved, Rey surged forward and wrapped her arms around the woman. It was so nice to see a friendly face.

But the woman stiffened in her arms.

“Well,” she said, sounding surprised. Rey drew back, suddenly remembering that the Nabooians were more formal than Jakkuians.

“I’m sorry,” Rey murmured, pink staining her cheeks. “I’m just a little tired.”

“Of course,” Leia said, and the women behind her all nodded in tandem. “Let us help you dress, then, Reyla.”

Rey looked down at her best dress. It was rust colored, and a bit plain. But that was the way she liked it. But these women were all dressed in a different fashion, their skirts wider and bigger, their necklines lower.

“I’m already dressed,” Rey said, feeling a bit foolish. There was a bit of a language barrier, had she misheard something? She had just began learning the dialect, but had been making good progress. “And it’s Rey.”

Leia smiled and took Rey’s hand, drawing her forward. “His majesty requests you dress in the Nabooian style from now on. It is tradition that not even a handkerchief from Jakku be left on your person.”

Rey wanted to protest. She hadn’t been warned of this! She brushed a tendril of hair back from her cheek. “But…my ladies…”

“You will have Naboo ladies now. Jessika, Phasma, and Ami will help you dress from now on.”

Rey’s cheeks flushed, not from embarrassment, but from anger. “And then?” she asked, a little harsher than she meant.

Leia raised an eyebrow but still looked sympathetic. “And then you will be introduced to his highness the king, and then to my son.”

Rey nodded, her jaw set. “Of course,” she mumbled as the two maids began undressing her. There were many ladies of the court around, all staring at her. Rey thrust her chin up as they stared, unwilling to be ashamed as her body became bare to the entire room, including her mother in law. They peeled off her gloves and stockings, and then she stood completely naked. She didn’t are let herself shiver in the cold air, did not even use her arms to cover herself. If they meant to humiliate her, then so be it. She had fought tooth and nail for every scrap of food she had eaten as a child. Nothing could tear her down.

Soon enough, they redressed her. She could barely breath in the corset they laced her into, but the dress she wore was pretty. Purple lace covered the front panel of her stomacher and skirt, while a deeper lilac served as the outer skirt and jacket. Half sleeves that went to her elbows were the fashion, along with the purple bows that adorned her stomacher, sleeves, and skirt. Ridiculous, but pretty. Rouge, a scandalous product in Jakku, was applied and her hair was brushed and fixed up. In the long mirror, a tall, brown haired beauty emerged that Rey didn’t recognize. But somehow, it was still her.

Leia took her hand and squeezed it again.

“I hope we will talk more later,” she said kindly before pulling away to lead Rey to a different tent.

Rey stepped carefully, her new shoes pinching her toes, and entered the tent. She took in the scene before her.

The entire room was filled with court men and women, all of which stared at her without regard. At the end stood a single chair, where a skeletal, sickly man sat. The wig on his head was as grey as his skin, it seemed. And at his side stood one man, who Rey instantly knew without a doubt, was her husband.

He was tall, very tall. Pale, but dark haired. He was possibly the only person in the room not staring at her, allowing her to look openly upon him. He was dressed well in dark blue and black garments, and wore no wig. There was not a ridiculous part about him. His jacket strained on his arms, where his muscles were thick. If she dared more than a glance at his legs, she found his thighs to be similarly fitted. Although he was no greek god, he was handsome. His nose was large but stately, and his eyes, once they turned to hers, were piercing.

She found herself before him and the king, and realized she had been standing in silence too long. She swept herself into a curtsy, carefully as to show respect. The king, seated before her, smiled.

It was horrifying to look at _him._ He was skeletal, and the entire right side of his face drooped down—completely disfigured. But it was not his appearance that made him frightening, it was the hungry gleam in his eye that showed he was not a figurehead. He was aware, stealthy, alert. Despite his appearance Rey sensed danger. She had heard the King had poor health, even had a few strokes. But he was still very much alive.

“My dear,” he said in a deep voice, with only a slight lisp. “Come closer.”

Rey found her husband staring at her, hard. She dropped her gaze quickly and took a few steps closer. The King’s hand reached out.

“Pretty little thing,” he remarked, his eyes sweeping down to her displayed chest. “Kylo, did I not pick you a rose? Surely she will satisfy even you.”

Both Rey and Kylo stiffened, Rey from offense. She tried to bite her tongue.

“No one has asked if he will satisfy me,” Rey burst out, and then swiftly turned pink at her own words.

There was a few gasps, and then silence. Then a horrible sound filled the air—a garbled, cruel sound that appeared to be laughter from the King’s mouth.

“See? She is perfect. So…feisty.”

Kylo glared at Rey and she tried to appear stately and unconcerned. Had she offended him? Perhaps. He seemed the type of man that was easily offended. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a red curve of his ear sticking out from the swathes of black hair.

“Come, Kylo, and meet your bride,” said the king. With a strange smile, he added: “Let us see if you approve, my dear.”

With a few stiff steps, he was before her. So tall, so large. His dark hair was tied back, but most had escaped to try and hide his dark eyes, which bore into her with intensity. He said not a word.

She was not a small girl—even though she was skinny, she was tall and her calves and arms were thick from muscle. Even hidden away, she knew she appeared to be no wraith. But this man made her feel like one, with both his stature and his gaze. Unlike Plutt’s, unlike the King’s, however, his did not stray from her eyes and contained no hunger. This was somewhat comforting, and she found herself gazing back without regard or shyness. She felt…almost like she knew him.

A throat cleared and she realized they had been staring too long. She held out her hand and he took it, brushing his lips against it dryly. She swallowed, and he carefully lowered her hand.

Quiet applause broke out and the King laughed again.

“Our new Crown Prince and Princess!” He rasped, and they turned to face the small crowd. With a dry swallow, Rey realized this was it. This was the beginning of her new life.

~

They rode in the same carriage, across from one another. But neither said a word. He gazed out the window, and Rey made knot after knot in her embroidery. She spent half the trip untangling the thread, so her fingers were almost raw when they reached the closest Duchy. The castle was larger than the one Rey had lived in in Jakku, and as the sun set they arrived within its gates.

Kylo helped her out of the carriage, his hand touching hers briefly. It was warm, and she caught his eyes quickly before turning away. How did he make her warm with just one look? How did she feel indignant with just the meeting of their eyes, when he had not yet spoken to offend her?

She did not understand him.

Dinner passed, and they were seated next to another. Bawdy jokes and suggestive hints were made by the King regarding their first night together and the expected consummation. Apparently the Duke of the castle’s own suite was made up just for them. He told the king he considered it a great honor for them to use his bed for such a holy event.

Rey burned with rage and humiliation. All she wanted to do was run and smack the words out of each man’s mouth. In retaliation, she shoveled all kinds of food in her mouth to keep from biting out insults. She knew it was against her training—and her corset—but she did not care. Delicious curls of ham, crisp bites of fileted radishes, sweet bits of petit fours and small piles of mashed turnips filled her mouth, delighting her tongue. She had never had such good food in her life. It was almost enough to distract her from the talk.

If her behavior or the talk offended her husband, she could not tell. He seemed amused at something a little curl of his lips betraying the hardness of his eyes. But he did not look directly at her once, did not speak to her. And by then, she was fine with that. She expected it.

But then came the night. The evening meal was cleared away, and there was dancing to be had. But the King, after beginning the festivities, rose from his chair to slowly lead the two away, deeper into the castle. Where their bedroom waited.

He disappeared into another room. The King kissed her forehead with his twisted lips and wished her well before leaving her with her ladies and maids.

They stripped her of her shift, and she covered her breasts to try and keep warm. She ground her teeth and waited until all the ladies curtsied to her before she climbed into the giant bed. It was more luscious than anything she had ever felt, the sheets fine and smooth and the bed soft and warm. But instead of covering herself, she waited until all her ladies filed out before she did. She refused to look weak or scared.

Kylo Ren entered a few minutes later, but Rey avoided looking at him. She heard him remove his robe and dismiss his servant, and felt a bead of sweat run down her back. It was cold, like a fingertip, but she held back a shiver while he slid into bed next to her. He was silent, turning onto his side away from her. She held still, and waited, and waited. And waited. But he did not turn to her, did not touch her or speak to her. When she awoke the next morning, he was gone. And there was a row of ladies, waiting eagerly to examine the spotless sheets she laid on.

~

The next night, she was severely reprimanded by Lady Phasma, who was highest in rank among all her ladies.

“You must be willing and receptive,” she told Rey sternly. “A good man will not lay with a woman unless she is.”

“I will be,” Rey replied, a bit too hotly. How could she be more receptive than the night before? She had been laying there, naked.

This time, she was allowed to keep her shift on. She laid in the plush bed and waited until he was also in bed. He did the same thing as before. He turned over and said nothing. Rey waited a few minutes, unsure, but then turned to him and brushed her palm against his back.

He started and turned around to look at her, his brow furrowed and his eyes accusing.

“What?” he said irritably, and Rey leaned back automatically.

“Aren’t you going to…I mean, you have to…” She was so startled by the intensity of his gaze that she found her mind going blank.

“What?” he repeated, even more forcefully than before. His dark hair fell into his eyes, obstructing his gaze, and Rey felt a little stronger.

“We need to consummate this marriage,” Rey said solemnly, clutching a portion of her shift in her hand.

He laughed. At her.

“Is that so,” he asked, a sort of smug amusement seeping through his voice. She could barely see him in the dark.

She stiffened. “Yes, of course.”

He chuckled, and she hit him on his broad shoulder. As soon as their flesh connected, his laughter cut off.

“I’m not going to lay with you,” he said seriously.

She sat up. “What? Why? Do you want our marriage to be annulled?” Terror shot through her. She had not come all this way to be undone by a stubborn, chaste prince. She would mount him herself if he intended to have their marriage annulled.

“No. It will all blow over, our marriage won’t be annulled.”

She felt her hands beginning to shake. If she was sent back to Jakku, Unkar would kill her. She’d have to run, far. She didn’t know what she’d have to do to survive.

“No, no!” Rey said. “You don’t see the women checking these sheets in the morning. I will be sent back to Jakku.”

There was silence, and she grew more and more angry. How dare he? She curled her legs up and listened to the sound of his breathing. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore.

She threw her leg over his hips and sat on him. She wasn’t exactly sure how this worked, but she guessed she could figure it out. His skin was like fire, and she braced her hands on his chest as she tried to thrust his shift up.

He let out a shocked yelp, and then suddenly she was on her back. She struggled, and almost got free before he realized her strength. Then she was pinned, his hands holding hers down. His eyes were incredibly piercing, dark and angry. She panted beneath him, trying to catch her breath. She was tempted to kick him right in the jewels so she would be free, but she knew that would be opposite of helpful in this situation.

“No,” he said.

“What?”

“No,” he said firmly.

Her entire body went slack. He wanted their marriage annulled. She was backed into a corner.

She was so confused. She’d thought the biggest trial would be enduring the consummation, not trying to get it to happen.

“Why?” She said softly. “Do you find me…unsuitable?” She wasn’t usually doubtful of herself, but suddenly it crippled her.

A moment of silence, and then a chuckle.

“No,” he said again. “You are…perfectly suitable.”

The anger return and the doubt dissipated, but she waited. “Then why?”

His voice was softer in the darkness. “You are so young. I thought you’d prefer to wait.”

She was startled by this kindness. He wasn’t the kind to seem…thoughtful. She stared into the darkness of the curtain surrounding their bed and realized that she didn’t want to bear a child now. She was scared; she didn’t even know Kylo Ren. Yes, she did want to wait.

In the darkness of their bed she swallowed nervously.

“But they will send me back to Jakku,” she said softly. “I…I really don’t want to go back.”

“Why?”

Now it was his turn to ask. She had to answer. “I wasn’t treated well. There is no freedom at Jakku.”

“Freedom,” he said wistfully. “You think you’ll find that here?”

“Yes,” she said firmly. “I could be happy here, I think.”

He looked startled, but his expression hardened.

“Alright,” he said.

Now it was her turn to be startled. “Alright?”

He did not answer, but instead turned to his side to get up. From off the wall he took a decorative saber and brought it to the bed. Rey sat up and drew back, ready to run. What on earth—

He took the saber and leaned over the bed. Rey took in a wild breath before he suddenly ran his hand over the blade, drawing a cut across the palm of his hand.

He held his unwavering hand just before Rey’s feet. The black blood fell down onto the crisp, white sheets. In the darkness, their eyes met and Rey’s lips parted.

“I vow, on this blood, to not take you until you are ready,” he said, voice deep and intense. “It shall be our secret.”

It was treason. But somehow, she was touched.

“Thank you,” she said.

He brought his bleeding hand down and smeared the blood, to make it more believable. Then, after a quick dip of his hand into the wash bin, he climbed back into bed. Rey listened to his breathing for a long time, waiting for it to settle. But it never truly did, and she fell asleep, waiting.


	2. Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding occurs, Versailles style. Rey discovers a little more about her husband.

The next morning, Rey woke up alone. Loneliness crawled into her as she curled up in the sheets. It wasn’t because she was alone—thank god she was alone for once—it was the feeling that no one really understood her. Her new husband, despite the gesture in the night, spoke very little to her. No one else had really bothered to speak to her, except to correct her. She used the wrong fork, she asked the wrong person for her shoes. It was only a few days, and she felt more alone than she had ever felt in the middle of the empty Jakku castle.

While she sulked, she felt the patch of blood on her leg and tried to cheer up. It could be her blood. She could have an ugly or uncaring husband. Maybe Ren was just quiet. He didn’t seem shy, and she had heard a lot about him before she had came. He was known to be cruel and angry, and a great swordsman. She remembered the portrait that had been sent before she had left. He had been standing, sword thrust out at a skillful angle. He looked imposing, regal. She wondered how hers came across to him, and why, if he was such a cold man, why he had been kind to her.

She didn’t have much time to wonder, for there were footsteps in the hall and her ladies were upon her.

The sheets were stripped as soon as her feet hit the floor, and she was forced to go through the strenuous dressing process again. At home, Rey dressed herself and sometimes had someone tighten her corset for her. But here, she had to be very careful. Only the highest lady in the room could bring her her stockings, tighten her corset, put on her rouge—which Rey disliked immensely. The rouge, and the process. It took too long, and was frankly, ridiculous. But it was the way things were done, and had always been done.

But today the process was a little speedier than usual. They had to get on the road to leave the duchy and head towards the great palace of Naboo, Versailles. It was said to be one of the greatest palaces ever built, and had been the home of the Kings for at least a century.

Rey wasn’t nervous to see her new home. She was nervous for the carriage ride. Being alone with her husband made her nervous. They never spoke at meals and only had that once in bed. She hated the silence.

Once she was dressed in a beautiful damask gown of blue silk, the stripes both light and dark in the sunlight. There were no bows this time, but there were white ruffles. Still, it was a beautiful gown, finer than any Rey had ever owned. She was careful to step into the carriage without ruining it.

“You look lovely in that color,” Kylo Ren said, eyes running up and down her as she got herself seated.

Warmed from the compliment, she shyly looked down and out the window before forcing herself to look back into his eyes. “Thank you.”

He tilted his head and gave her a sly little smile. “Makes me almost regret what I said last night.”

She stiffened, horror churning in her gut. “You-You said…”

“I wouldn’t go back on my word, don’t worry.”

She was enraged. How stupid did he think she was? Did he think that was funny? She thought he understood, thought he was being kind—was he merely playing with her?

“How dare you,” she hissed. “That’s not funny.”

“I thought so.”

“Well it wasn’t!”

He laughed, transforming his features. “Snoke was right. You are…feisty.”

She frowned, not understanding the word. “What?”

He brushed back a lock of his hair. “It means—“

The carriage lurched, and she fell into his lap. As she clutched his large, hard body among the sea of fabric around them, embarrassment flooded through her. She tried to leap off of him, but his hands kept her pressed against him.

“Kylo,” she said, starting to panic. “Let me go.”

“Relax,” he instructed. “Were you not in this position last night?” His voice was coy.

She grabbed his ear and twisted.

His hands fell away and he shouted. As the carriage stopped with a jerk, Rey quickly placed herself on the bench across from him, smoothing out her skirt. The door opened and a soldier peeked his head in.

“Are you all right, Your Grace?”

Kylo looked absolutely grave. “Of course. Why have we stopped?”

It was hilarious to Rey. Both of them watched silently as the soldier apologized and backed out, and the carriage started up again.

His eyes were dark and furious. “You’ll pay for that…”

She scoffed. “What are you going to do?”

He smiled a little, the fire dying in his eyes to embers. “Maybe I’ll step on your feet tomorrow at our ceremony.”

Unwillingly, Rey’s lips turned up.

“So…what exactly is this ceremony?” She asked. “Lady Phasma barely mentioned it.”

His little smile continued. “Our wedding ceremony.”

Her eyes went wide. “Our…but we’re already married! As far as they know, we’ve already…”

He tilted his head, dark eyes amused. “Yes, but there must be a ceremony. For the people. It is the way of Versailles.”

Well, she hated it. She had appreciated the stand in groom, the quiet ceremony with a few witnesses and the priest. She had thought it was a breeze. But now, with a thousand eyes on her, she’d have to stand up there and be married _again._

“Are you all right?”

She bounced back and blinked a few times. “I’m fine,” she said quietly.

His smile fell and he leaned forward, but said nothing. She didn’t say anything either, and the rest of the ride was silent.

~

The dress for the wedding was exquisite. It was white and gold, small fleur-de-lis patterned all over it. The bows and ruffles were tasteful, the train ridiculously long. But it was beautiful, and Rey couldn’t believe it was for her.

They brushed out her chestnut hair and pinned it tall. They rouged her cheeks and lips. Her stockings—which Rey was most impressed with—were silk. When they pronounced her ready, she didn’t recognize herself in the mirror.

It gave her a funny feeling, a lump in her throat. This wasn’t her. She was the girl who climbed the outside tower of Jakku’s castle with her bare hands. She fed chickens and ate greedily and couldn’t play cards for squat. And here she was, looking like the beautiful furniture she had glimpsed in the palace before they whisked her away to get ready. Pretty, but unreal. Like chairs that weren’t meant to be sat upon.

“You look like a real crown princess,” said one of her ladies, a Duchess Jessika Pava. Phasma smiled.

“You’ll do,” was all she said.

Princess Leia was more than generous with her words, kissing Rey’s hand and beaming at her. “You may be all trussed up, but it is you who makes the gown beautiful,” she said.

Rey felt a little better, but that quickly vanished as they announced that it was time. With a jumping stomach and dry tongue, her entourage led her out of the large dressing room. They were to be married in Versailles most famous room: the hall of mirrors.

And it was breath taking. Like her dress, gold and white covered every surface that wasn’t mirrored. Windows on the far side let in plenty of light to reflect off of the mirrors, and even the ceilings were painted with lovely figures swathed in gossamer fabrics with upturned faces. Great crystal chandeliers hung from them, each faucet sparkling in the evening sun. Pure gold statues that held up more crystal candle holders littered the long room. It was lovely.

But the room was filled with people. And they were all looking at her.

They were pale and well dressed. Beauty marks spotted their cheeks. Eyes were narrowed and curiosity was plain on their faces. Rey swallowed dryly and took a step, and then another. But then she felt like her feet were stone and legs were lead. She looked up, and there he was. Her dark haired, tall, imposing husband. And somehow, she found her legs moving again.

She made it to the end of the aisle, and he took her hand. Startled, she looked up at him, but found he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking straight ahead, and so she followed suit. He was dressed in a dark blue suit with gold trim and a crisp white shirt.

They bowed their heads, and the ceremony began, all of it in a language Rey couldn’t understand. Latin?

They knelt, and when Rey looked up, the priest frowned at her, so she kept her head down.

She snuck a look at Kylo, and saw his eyes closed in reverence, and something panged in her heart.

When it was over, the whole congregation watched as they rose and then faced each other. He leaned in, eyes on hers. Then his soft, plush lips were on hers and she was having her first kiss.

It was soft, tender, gentle. Unexpected from the roguish man. But then it was over, and her eyes flew open to find a strained expression on his face as he pulled away. She didn’t understand it, but didn’t have much time to think before they were facing the crowd of watching eyes. He led her down the few steps, and took her by the waist for a traditional dance.

She had been warned about this by Princess Leia. She had been taught the dance back in Jakku by one of the imported tutors who had tormented her. Now, she prayed she would remember it.

The music began, and Rey watched herself in the mirror as they began the dance. She almost tripped, but he caught her and dragged her back into step. She was so busy watching her feet and her figure in the mirror that she didn’t realize that Kylo was staring at her, intently. When she caught his stare, she met it and didn’t look away.

“You’re not afraid of me, are you?” He asked.

She cocked her head at him. “I’m not afraid of anything,” she said boldly.

He gave her a funny little smile. “Oh really?”

She frowned and finally broke the long stare, glancing past him. “You are an irritating man,” she told him sternly. “I bet you want me to be afraid of you, just like everyone else.”

“Hmm,” he replied. “Perhaps not.”

She glanced up at him as they swayed, and bit her lip.

“What do you mean?”

He drew her a little closer. “You’re different than they are. And I’m tired of being alone.”

 _I’m tired of being alone too,_ she thought. But she said nothing. She just looked at him before realizing they had stopped. The people around them all clapped, and she stepped away from Kylo.

“You dance well,” she said. “Thank you.”

The tenderness she had seen was gone. Back was the same distant man.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, and walked away, leaving her alone in the crowd of people.

~

They didn’t speak much that night—they were both exhausted. She fell asleep right away, but awoke halfway through the night to find herself snuggled into Kylo’s hard, lean back. Embarrassed, she thanked god he was asleep and jerked away.

It must be because she was cold. Their new room was drafty. It held a large fireplace, but there were only embers in it now. It held their large bed and a mirrored vanity, but not much else. There was a large fence around the bed for childbirths to be witnessed—even that was not private. But the room had large windows that led out to a balcony that overlooked the perfectly sculpted gardens.

But now it was dark and cold. She huddled under the blanket, trying to get warm.

“Are you cold?”

She started at the deep voice coming from her husband.

“I thought you were asleep,” she said quietly. He rolled over and looked at her.

“How can I when you are shivering next to me?”

She swallowed. “I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

He sat up and pulled the long cord next to their bed that disappeared into the ceiling that alerted the servants that they were needed.

She didn’t say anything as he got up.

“You do that every night, you know.”

Damn it. Damn him. Damn herself for being raised in a desert.

“I’m sorry,” she said, not knowing what else to say.

He looked at her and shrugged. “I don’t mind, Reyla.”

It was the first time he’d said her name.

“It’s Rey,” she said softly.

He gave her a long look. “Rey,” he said, just as quiet.

The maid arrived.

“Your grace?” She asked Kylo, and his tone changed.

“My wife needs another blanket,” he said roughly.

The maid curtsied and left, glancing at Rey’s huddled figure in bed.

“Kylo,” she began, but he interrupted her.

“Call me Ren. It’s closer to my real name.”

“Your real name?”

The maid returned and gave Ren the blanket. He returned to bed.

“My birth name is Ben, but I adopted the name Kylo Ren when I was chosen as Snoke’s heir. It is the Nabooian version of my name,” he told her as he spread the blanket over her.

She snuggled down into blankets, enjoying the new warmth from the draft. In the moonlight, Ren’s skin practically glowed. It was like he had never seen the outside of the palace.

“Mighten I call you Ben, then?”

He shook his head, a faraway look in his eye. “That’s the name of a boy. The boy I was before I became who I am now.”

She wanted to ask who he was. All she knew was his name, and that he was lonely and had been kind to her when she had been afraid—even if she loathed to admit it. Beyond that, she had no idea who Kylo Ren—Ben?—was. But she didn’t. Perhaps because she didn’t want to be asked the same question.

She knew who she was.

She was nobody. If he knew of her life before the Jakku castle, if he had known that she had been out on the streets, collecting metal for pennies, he’d be disgusted. He of the fine silks and class. He thought she was someone she was not—that’s why her heart beat so fast when he had said she was different.

She didn’t want to be different, not really. It would be so much easier if she wasn’t. If she had never tasted freedom. She was beginning to realize that this was a different sort of prison than the one she had lived in Jakku. Here, her bars were not starvation or Plutt’s belt. It was the eyes of the people, constantly waiting for her to slip up. Was Ren just another one of them?

She didn’t know.

She fell asleep wondering, only to be awakened at dawn by a whisper in her ear. Ren was leaning over her, his lips grazing her ear.

“You did it again, little bird,” he whispered. “Perhaps you weren’t just cold.”

He took his leave, the bed shifting as his weight left it.

She shivered, but she was not cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love this series. Of course there's no smut yet--yet! But expect slower updates, for I'm starting school again on Monday! Wish me luck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey asks a favor of the king...and discovers more about her husband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kind reviews! I appreciate them greatly and will reply to them soon. You all are so very sweet.

Every day was the same. She always awakened to an empty bed and a room full of ladies who dressed her slowly. Then there was breakfast—which was observed by dozens of lords and ladies—then mass. She went for a stroll around the gardens or visited Princess Leia, who was kind enough to let her win at cards. Then there was lunch, which Ren was only present at half the time. The other half of the time, he was out hunting or doing something no one bothered to tell Rey. Then came downtime with Rey’s ladies of the court, then dinner, then the arduous process of undressing—almost as bad as dressing—and then bed. Where she was alone with her husband for the only time the entire day.

It was on such a night, about a month after they arrived at the palace, that Rey decided she would say something about it.

“Ren?”

“Hm?” Instantly, dark eyes were on hers.

“Why don’t we have lunch on our own one day?”

He blinked. “We can’t.”

She sat up, irritated. “Why not?”

He shrugged. “The court would fight on who would come and who could not. We’d end up insulting people.”

She was frustrated and threw the covers off of her legs. “No. No courtiers. Just us. Me. You.”

He seemed confused now. “Why?”

She threw her hands up in the air. “Because don’t you ever get tired of people watching you? Don’t you ever just want to have a private conversation?”

His dark eyes were wary. “Well, sure. That’s why we have private rooms. Are you not satisfied with yours?”

She stared at him. “What?”

He frowned. “Rey, your private rooms. Right over there.”

She looked to where he gestured but saw nothing but the wall.

“Ren, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

A dark look crossed his features, and he flung the covers off himself. He stalked over to her side of the bed to the wall, and pressed on it. The wall clicked and then gave, turning into a doorway.

“Oh!” She gasped, leaping out of bed. Ren grabbed a candle and walked into the room, which even in the dark, was lovely. There was a small day bed built into the wall, and beautiful paneling on the walls.

“These,” Ren said, a bit angrily, “are your private apartments. Your place to get away from prying eyes.”

“I…I never knew,” Rey said. “No one told me.”

Ren drew near to her, his dark eyes furious. “Not Phasma? Not even my mother?”

Rey drew back, cheeks flushed. “Well, your mother doesn’t come to dress me anymore. I only see her in her apartments.”

He shook his head. “This was done on purpose. You mean all this time, you…” He shook his head again.

Rey stepped towards him, a ghostly slim figure in her nightgown. “It’s alright. You didn’t know,” she said, just relieved that finally, finally she had a private place to go. Somewhere without the eyes, somewhere without the judgement.

“No,” he interrupted. He was angry, so Rey took a step back. He had been refined in her presence, his famous rage contained. But she could see now that it was not.

“No, this was done to you, _my wife_. How dare they do this? If I didn’t have my own rooms, I’d simply go insane!” He began to pace and Rey grew worried.

“Ren, please-“ she interjected as he picked up a chair and threw it. She was aghast at his behavior for a moment, stunned and shocked into silence.

“Ren!” she shouted, and he stopped and looked at her, eyes wild in the moonlight.

“Am I frightening you?” he snarled. “Are you scared of me now, Rey?”

She steeled herself. “No,” she snapped back. “I’ve seen children throw tantrums before.”

His back slowly straightened and a funny look came on his face. She crossed her arms, and did not move as he came forward. Her stomach flipped as she met his eyes.

“You aren’t afraid of me,” he murmured. “But you look like a sly rabbit, ready to run.”

She stiffened. “Only because it is smart,” she added, and he cocked his head.

“Perhaps you’re right.” He said slowly. “Maybe you are my match.”

She leaned against the wall of their bedroom, the gold paneling digging into her back beneath the thin nightgown. He was looking at her almost admiringly, and she wondered if he would kiss her.

But he drew back, almost unnaturally it was so stiff.

“Come back to bed,” he said quietly. “In the morning, I’ll arrange for your rooms to be cleaned. Then you may occupy them whenever you please. You may buy whatever you want for them using my purse. Spare no expense.”

She bit her lip, following him back to the wide bed.

“Ren?”

“Hm?”

“I-“ she hesitated. “I do not wish for much. Except for you to dine with me there. Privately. Just once.”

Now it was his turn to pause. “The king will not be pleased.”

“No,” she said. “But…I could ask him, couldn’t I?”

He stared at her, eyes calculating. “Yes. You could try and beguile him as you have me.”

“Sir, I have never tried to do such a thing.”

“And yet you have succeeded.”

She grew warm and wished he wouldn’t say such things. It gave her the strangest feeling.

~

The next day she went to the king, dropping in her deepest curtsy. Nervously, she fidgeted with the necklace she had been given from Leia that dropped just between her breasts.

As she spoke to the king, she found his eyes drawn to her hand. With a blush, she stopped toying with the necklace, but his eyes still lingered there.

“…and so, I was wondering, in order to get to know my husband more, may I dine in private with him once a week? It would…it would please me greatly.”

Finally the lecherous eyes moved up to her own face. The disfigured man coughed and wheezed, and a handkerchief was given to him promptly. Rey watched in horror as it was stained dark red.

“My dear, do you and my nephew not have enough…alone time…at night?”

Her cheeks colored. But she could play this game. “Oh, but there isn’t much time for talking,” she replied sweetly. He laughed at her, but there was a strange gleam to his gaze that was much too energetic.

“I assumed there was,” said Snoke, coughing again briefly. “For there is no child resting inside you yet, is there?”

Rey was horrified, and whispers around her grew loud. Snoke’s eyes shone, and Rey had the most horrible, sinking feeling that somehow, he knew what Ren and her had done.

“God has not graced us yet,” she murmured. Desperately, she took up with her necklace again. “But it is still early.”

“Never too early for a child,” the king replied, his eyes back on her cleavage. “But I suppose to foster good spirit between man and wife, I must grant you such a wish. How could I deny it, when asked with such…sweetness?”

She swallowed dryly but smiled wide. She could play this game. She had to. “You are too kind,” she murmured, “to grant me this. I thank you.”

He smiled back. “MY pleasure my dear…now, come and see me again, won’t you?”

~

That night, when she told Ren, he was surprised. “So you managed it, then?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “But just barely. I…I think he knows about our arrangement.”

“No,” he disagreed. “He suspects. But he can not propose such a thing. Evidence has been brought, and this new arrangement of yours proves that we are nothing but a couple foolishly in love.”

She felt her cheeks heat. “Love? All I said is that I wished to know you better.”

He turned and smirked at her. “As if they believed such a thing.”

“Who? The court? The king?”

“Both.”

She bit her lip and worried it between her teeth. “Well, drat.”

He laughed lazily. “Let them think we are in love,” he said carelessly. “As if it were possible.”

Sharply, she turned to look at him.

“As if it were possible?”

He stared at the ceiling of their canopy. “I don’t believe in love,” he admitted.

“Oh.” Well, at least it wasn’t her. She had thought, for a moment, that he had some kind of aversion to her. But he had told her, that night, that it wasn’t because he wasn’t attracted to her…

“Does this upset you, my wife?”

She wished he’d stop calling her that, like he owned her. “No. Why should I care? You…you do not need to love me for us to have a good marriage.”

He sat up, the shoulder of his shift falling to expose one pale, muscular shoulder.

“Is that so? What is required for a good marriage?”

She didn’t quite have an answer. “Well…they’d have to get along. Be able to make decisions together. Be loyal to one another. Eventually have the ability to have children together.”

“Many children?”

She glanced at him, curling her legs up closer to her chest. “Perhaps. Most women hope for such a thing.”

He rolled over to the side and let his gaze wander up and down her.

“It would be nice,” he drawled, “to see you round and ripe with my babe.”

There he was again, flustering her! How could he say such things seriously?

“You are a ridiculous man,” she could only reply.

But he caught her hand. “I do not mean to offend you. I only think you would be lovely. Is that a crime?”

She let him hold her hand and shook her head. “No crime has been committed, but I do not wish to be with child yet,” she said quietly. “Have you forgotten?”

He pressed her hand to his lips. “No, princess. I have not. And I promised you I would not pressure you. But I am a man, and you are a woman. A beautiful woman. I can not help but to say such things in our presence, sometimes.”

She flushed. “And you don’t believe in love.”

He frowned. “I don’t,” he argued, letting go of her hand. “This is desire, it is not love. Never mistake the two.”

“Oh, I won’t,” Rey replied coldly, curling her hand into a small fist. The cheek of him.

“But this matters not to you, right?” he asked, just as cold. “You could not love me anyways?”

“I never said that,” she said. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Well don’t hope for such an impossible thing,” he replied. “You’ll only get hurt.”

“Why would you care about that?” she muttered, but he heard.

“Because regardless, love or no love, you are my wife. I will let no harm come to you.” His dark eyes swallowed hers.

“Then merely let me be,” she snapped, somehow angry still. “I can protect myself just fine.”

His hand came up, and with the softest of touches stroked her cheek. She sat stock still, shocked.

“I suppose you can,” he said. “I would guess nothing other.”

She fell into silence, and his hand came down. She missed it. Something in his eyes was gentle.

That night, she could not sleep. When she finally did, his gaze haunted her dreams. And she awoke pressed to his back again.

~

She refused her rouge the day of their first private lunch. It caused a small uproar. Rey reveled in it.

“I won’t wear it,” she said determinedly. Lady Phasma’s lips had a strange curl to them as she took it away. _She_ never wore rouge, Rey noticed.

She opted for a dress of white and green, crisp and plainer than most. The silk was still rich, but the white made it cool. As Rey entered her own private apartments, she did not sweat seeing the long panels of sunshine that shone through the windows. A few servants lingered, laying out trays of petit carrots and potatoes, small golden crusty rolls, and some kind of meat. Rey held her breath at the display of food as she always did—a bad habit, she supposed, but one she couldn’t get over. She remembered gnawing on a raw turnip one cold night.

She was already seated when Ren breezed in. He was dressed in dark blue and black, as he always was. As he brushed his lips against her cheek, she smelt the rich scent of pine. Glancing at his boots, she found them crusted with mud and orange pine needles.

“You’ve been out hunting!” She sighed and he glanced down to his boots, where she was clearly staring.

“Sorry,” he said casually. “Next time I’ll change boots before I come in.”

“No, no,” she hurried to explain as he began to pour himself a bowl of coffee. “I’m merely envious, that’s all.”

His dark brows went up at this. “Is that so?”

“Oh yes. I…I spent a lot of time outdoors as a child,” she said, pink tinging her cheeks.

He sipped his coffee and took a roll. She took one as well, fighting the urge to shove it in her mouth. Instead, she tore it to bits with her fork and knife.

“You grew up in Jakku, yes?” He asked.

“Yes,” she said shortly. She knew Plutt hadn’t been quite forthright about her upbringing. They would have thought her savage if they had known the truth. But perhaps, she could be honest about it with Ren?

“I lived among the peasants for most of my childhood,” she said before filling her mouth with food. But she didn’t taste it as she waited for his reaction.

He frowned. “Yes, I thought I heard something about that…you lived with a family before you reclaimed your title?”

She gulped down a swallow of hot coffee and wondered if she should have perhaps went with watered wine. But a woman trying to get pregnant—or supposedly trying to get pregnant—did not drink.

“Not exactly,” she said slowly. “It was more…scattered than that.”

Ren opened his mouth, but then a creak was heard from the door. He stood up from the chair, glare already fixed upon his face.

“Who dares bother my wife and I during our private lunch?” He thundered, and Rey’s heart pounded queerly.

Lady Phasma slipped in, accompanied by her husband, Lord Armitage Hux. Her pale face was abnormally flushed beneath the coif of bright blond hair. “It is I, sire. My husband requires audience with you and asked to be let in.”

Armitage Hux was Ren’s second hand man and advisor to the king. Rey disliked him, for he looked like a weasel that had once stolen a crust of bread from her. His blue eyes always flickering, his hair always perfectly molded. He was quite unlike her husband.

“Your highness,” he began smoothly. “The matter of the western troops being demobilized from the border, it needs your attention—“

“Why?”

Hux’s light eyebrows went up. “Why, I just recived a notice about it, of course. I thought you, being the chief commander, would want to know this immediately—“

Ren cut him off again. “I asked not to be disturbed. Was I not clear?”

Hux glanced around at the small parlor and the spread before them. “Of course you were, but you see, surely something as trifling as a lunch could be interrupted for an urgent matter.”

“You could have waited an hour,” Ren snarled. “I will not give you an answer until then. Do you understand me now, Lord Hux?”

Rey drew in a breath and glanced at Phasma, who looked composed and emotionless—as usual. But Hux’s eyes flashed angrily.

“I see now where your priorities lie now, my lord,” he said with a slight sneer. “I will abide by them.”

“Do so,” Ren hissed right back as Hux bowed and took his leave. Phasma curtsied, then closed the doors as she backed out.

Ren huffed as he sat down. “Not a minute alone!” He clamored. “When I’m king—“

He paused, taking a quick glance at Rey. “Well, never mind. It is ill to speak of such things.”

“Is it?” Rey breathed. “For I think of such things myself.”

Ren looked her up and down and then scooted his chair closer. “It is bad, but surely one must think of things in case—to be prepared, I mean.”

“Of course.” Rey’s stays were tight as she held her breath, watching Ren with hopeful eyes.

“But perhaps I can say that when I am king, we shall have a little peace.”

A relieved breath exhaled through Rey’s lips. “You mean…no audience?”

“Well, almost. You have to keep the court close of course, to keep them from plotting against you. If they are all confined to Versailles, my spies hear every little plot hatched. But some things should be more private.”

“Like meals? And dressing?”

Ren’s dark eyes were puzzled. “Who would dress you then?”

Rey sat up straight. “Well, that’s none of your business, but I am able to dress myself, for the most part. I certainly can reach for my own stockings.”

Ren laughed and covered her hand with his own. “Then when we are crowned, it shall be that you can reach for your own stockings.”

She smiled at him, feeling hope wrestle in her breast. “How wonderful it will be,” she sighed. “To be able to eat just as I want.”

He tilted his head. “How’s that?”

She laughed now, loudly. “To eat like I am hungry! Not like a bird.”

“Eat then, eat as you will. Apparently this will be the only good meal you get then.”

She shrugged, but heaped her plate with vegetables and turkey. He ate too, but watched her thoughtfully as she ate with more gusto, and a small smile played on his lips.

“What?” she asked. “Why are you staring?”

“Come here,” he said simply, gesturing her forward.

When she rose and went round the table, he forced her to sit upon his lap. She did so with a start and the color rose in her cheeks.

“Ren, why—“

“Have you been so unhappy, Rey?” He asked. “Truly?”

She looked at him beneath her lashes, biting her lip. “Not terribly,” she said carefully. “It’s just so different than it was…when I grew up.”

He looked sober. “So you have not found your freedom nor happiness here?”

“Well, not exactly. But perhaps, someday…” she looked at him meaningfully. He smiled.

“Someday,” he echoed. “I promise you some happiness, at least.”

They looked at each other for a long moment, and just as she went to look away he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.

She was startled again and jumped a little, almost biting his lip. But he went for it again, and she found herself leaning back into his hand on her back, the long brown curls of her hair slipping to her shoulders. When they separated he smiled.

“Perhaps you’ll find some happiness here in the meantime,” he said.

She shrugged again and lifted herself from his lap. She slipped a look behind her as she walked back to her seat. “Perhaps.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's heart runs away with her...will Ren ever catch up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the continued support for this little piece! You all are so kind.

One morning she stretched her arms out and felt no chill. She felt a warm breeze from an open window and realized that she didn’t want to go to mass and be watched and walk stiffly through the gardens. She wanted to ride. She wanted to feel the wind through her hair.

None of her ladies seemed willing, not even plucky Jessika. They all fussed and murmured about her health until she realized that they feared a miscarriage for her. So she drew Phasma aside.

“I began my monthly yesterday,” she confessed. “It is safe for me to ride.”

Phasma’s mouth tightened. “My condolences, Princess. Perhaps next month…”

“Yes, yes,” Rey hurried. “If I got the Lady Leia’s blessing, couldn’t I go?”

“Of course,” said Lady Phasma, smoothing out her dark blue dress. “Lady Leia would be the one to ask. But your husband…would he approve?”

Rey was shocked. Ren…approve?

“I don’t need his—“ She began, but Lady Phasma frowned. She bit her lip. “Fine. I will ask him myself,” she quipped.

Leia seemed saddened by the news that she was not pregnant and took her hand.

“Next month, my dear,” she said, and Rey managed a weak smile. But her blessing was procured, and with a little unease, Rey went to find her husband at mass.

He was praying fervently, as he was oft to do. They never sat next to each other, so when she slid into the bench beside him he looked up, startled.

“Rey?” He murmured. “What is it?”

“I want to go riding, but I…need your permission.”

He frowned. “Of course you can go riding. There is no danger of miscarriage. Do they know that?”

She tried to hide the flush creeping up into her cheeks. “Yes. So I will go.”

“I will accompany you, of course.”

“What?” she hissed. “No!”

He looked amused. “Yes, my lady. It’s either me or half the court.”

The Latin prayers began and Rey ducked her head, her curls brushing against her shoulders. Damn Ren. She wanted to ride fast and furious, not properly.

But maybe he could be convinced.

Mass ended and Ren pressed his hand to hers for a moment. “I’ll have them saddle the horses after lunch.”

She pressed her lips together firmly and bobbed her head up to meet his eyes. “No, have them pack a lunch for us. We can have a picnic.”

“Picnic?” He repeated. “I don’t understand.”

“You know, eating outside on a blanket. Like the peasants do in the fields after they harvest.”

He stared at her, and then his face broke into a wide smile. “A pic-nic,” he said carefully. “You are a wonder, Rey.”

~

She wore a light muslin gown with her stays loosened. A wide brimmed hat was tied onto her head with a light pink ribbon, her hair left in loose curls tied at her neck. She was met by Ren, whose casual light breeches were matched by a light coat and undershirt. She was shocked—he never wore light colors. But he was handsome, his dark hair tied back. He never wore a wig, and she was glad. His hair was soft and waved so handsomely around his firm jaw…

She snapped out of it, remembering her initial hesitance at having him accompany her. She wanted to feel free. She didn’t want to have to impress her husband.

Still, when he helped her onto her horse, his hand was warm.

They set off at an easy gallop away from the crowd of people that had gathered to see them off. They left the organized gardens of Versailles and crossed into a field overgrown with grass and wildflowers of the spring. The sun was bright and there was no cool breeze to give her a chill. The sun felt lovely on her arms, but what was better were the loose stays that allowed her to breathe in deeply. It was almost perfect.

They did not speak at first, and Ren reigned in his horse a lot. It was a large black stallion with clever eyes. Rey’s was a glossy chestnut that mischievously snacked on leaves as they passed the edge of the forest.

“I had no idea you liked to ride,” Ren said politely. “We should do this more often.”

Rey thought back to the reluctance of her ladies, and the sadness in Lady Leia’s eyes when she announced she was not pregnant. “Perhaps,” she murmured.

“You ride well,” he continued. “Is that a natural talent?”

She shrugged. “I’ve been riding since I was small. I used to—“ She cut herself off.

“What?”

She bit her lip, worrying it between her teeth. “Well, I used to ride for money. In races.”

Ren reared in his horse so they could ride side by side and meet her eye. “What? Are you joking?”

“No,” she said hotly. “I was very light, and I used to dress up as a boy and race for money. If I rode for the right person with a good horse, we’d win. Of course, I didn’t get to keep the prize.”

He stared at her. “A boy? You used to dress as a boy?”

“Yes,” she said. “I was a little wild in my youth.”

He scoffed. “You still are young.”

She grinned. “But no longer so wild.”

He smiled back at her. “I think maybe underneath that pretty bonnet, you still are. I can see you, riding astride with your long hair in the wind…”

She tugged on her skirt, exposing her ankle and slipped her right leg around the horse so she rode astride. “I still can,” she said. “Race me.”

The look of shock on his face was delicious. But she did not linger to look at it, instead shifting her weight forward and digging her heels into the horse’s sides. Immediately the horse stretched out her neck and began pounding the ground.

Rey’s hat flew off. Her hair came loose and streamed behind her. She went up and down, up and down as her horse ran down to the edge of the meadow where a creek lay. She heard Ren shout behind her, but she only grinned and touched her heels to her horse’s sides. They flew over the creek, landing in the soft mud after it. It spattered her dress, her horse, even her face. She reigned in her horse, circling it back towards the creek just in time to see Ren’s black stallion fly over it.

“Rey!” He shouted, out of breath and wild eyed. Clutched in his hand was her hat. “Tell me the horse ran away with you.”

“It did not,” she said proudly, riding close enough to hold out her hand for her hat.

But he grabbed her wrist. “What you did was foolish. You could have been hurt.”

She glared and snatched her hand away. “I knew what I was doing. I’ve done it many times before.”

“But look at you! Spattered in mud, out of breath, hair looking like we rolled around in a haystack.”

“Well we don’t have to worry about that, do we?” she snapped. “If anything, it will only encourage the court.”

He fell silent and pressed his lips together. “Rey, we made that decision together. I thought you agreed.”

Her horse shifted from leg to leg, as if he could sense the awkwardness. Rey ducked her head down. “I do. It’s just hard when everyone expects a baby—“

“I know.”

She fell silent and picked at her dress. Her horse drifted away from his, going to drink from the stream. He made his follow hers though and reached out to give her her hat.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he said gruffly. “I have never seen a woman ride as you do.”

“It’s alright,” she said. “I suppose there will be a lot of firsts like that.”

“Oh?” he said.

She nodded. If only he knew. “Come, let’s eat.”

He dismounted and helped her down, and when his hands encircled her waist, she felt a thrill run up her spine. He must have felt it too, because he ducked his head down for a kiss once she was on the ground.

But after a moment she pulled away, confused. Why did he continue to do these things if he didn’t believe in love? Did he merely lust after her?

They spread the blanket beneath a tree and Ren brought her the large covered basket full of cheese, cold meats, bread, and mulled wine. They ate in silence, and when they were finished Rey packed up the basket and Ren watched her.

“I quite like this pic-nic,” he said. “We should do this for my hunting party sometime.”

“We do it all the time in Jakku, but it’s not half as nice as this,” Rey said. She laid down on the blanket and looked up through the branches of the just budding tree. It’s bright green leaves had just began to unfurl. The clouds in the sky passed slowly, drifting lazily through the blue.

She heard a rustle and then found Ren hovering over her, his body suddenly caging hers in. She began to sit up, startled, but his lips pressed against hers.

They kissed slowly, which eased her racing heartbeat. His tongue slid across her lips a few times before she let him slip between her lips. His hand brushed against her cheek, and the other braced himself off the ground. She felt the hardness of his body press against hers and she broke the long kiss.

“Wait,” she murmured as he attacked her neck next. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because,” he mumbled.

“Ren,” she said more sternly, slipping a hand between them to push on his chest.

“Because, even mud spattered, you are beautiful,” he told her, exasperation edging into his voice. He returned to kissing her, and she swallowed her words for a moment.

 _Just stay_ , something said. _Stay here for just a moment and let him in._

He nipped at her lip then swiped his tongue over it soothingly. The kiss was almost bruising, and hungry. He tasted like the wine they had both drank. His fingers stroked her cheek then weaved into her curls. He pulled her closer, his grip tight on her hair. She groaned a little into his lips, but she wasn’t sure whether it was from his pulling or from the kiss.

But as she kissed him back—almost just as demandingly—thoughts began to rush at her. She wanted this. Somehow, she wanted this. She wanted Ren. Even though she was young, even though they hadn’t known each other very long. He was handsome and enticing, and he seemed to care about her. But she wanted more than that. She wanted love. She had always wanted love, and a family. And now, even though she had a husband who wanted her—who thought she, a scrawny nobody from Jakku, was beautiful—she knew that she wanted more.

She broke the kiss. She pushed him away and shook her head. “Ren, no.”

He leaned back and cocked his head at her. “What’s wrong?”

She gave a breathless little laugh. “Ren, you don’t love me.”

Something flashed across his face—hurt?—and then his face was back to being emotionless. “So?”

“So…maybe it’s better if we didn’t.”

He looked genuinely curious. “Why, Rey? We’re married.”

“We are. But…I’m not ready to do this. I’m not like you.”

“Not like me?” Ren said.

Rey sat up and drew her legs up beneath her. “I wanted to do this with someone I loved.”

Ren laughed, almost pityingly. “Well neither of us have that option anymore, Rey.”

She swallowed dryly and drew her arms around her knees. “You really think that? That even with time…” She didn’t know what to say. She thought…she had felt something between them.

His eyes held sympathy, but she wanted no pity from him. “I told you I don’t believe in love, Rey.”

“Well that doesn’t mean you’re right,” she snapped, standing up. She stalked over to her horse and used her arms to pull herself up and over. She didn’t care that she was mud spattered or riding astride. She just wanted to get away from those pitying eyes. She wanted to forget his weight on her, and the warmth of his lips on hers. So she dug in her heels and shot away from Ren for the second time that day.

“Rey!”

She ignored him as well as the stinging behind her eyes that threatened tears. She rode fast, back towards the palace without thought.

When she burst through the meadow and back into the palace gardens, she heard gasps of shock. To her surprise, quite a lot of people were out walking, and they were all staring at her. Her hair was mussed, her dress dirty. She had left her hat behind. And she was riding astride.

“Your highness,” yelled a guard, running up to her. “What’s wrong? Where is the crown prince?”

Rey cursed herself. She had been too rash and thoughtless—again. She could only imagine what these people thought. And what they would say.

“He’s—“ She began as more courtiers gathered. But then there were hooves pounding the gravel behind her, and Ren was there.

“The horse ran away with her,” he said breathlessly. “Are you alright, Reyla?”

Damn him. She nodded, avoiding his eyes. He dismounted and lifted her off the horse. He kept his hands on her, though, as if she’d swoon. She supposed she should, since she was pretending the horse ran away with her.

“I need someone to take the Princess back to her rooms. She’s overwhelmed.”

“Of course,” said Lady Jessika, emerging from the crowd. She dropped a curtsy, then took Rey’s hand. “You’re shaking, my lady.”

Rey found that she was, but it was only with rage. How dare he march in here and try to sweep her off her feet like she needed saving? She knew he was trying to save her reputation, but in her mind it didn’t matter. She was humiliated by him, and now she was embarrassed in front of the entire court. It would be the talk of the entire palace.

She did not catch his eye as she left, and after a bath, she fell into a dreamless sleep. Luckily, she was excused from everything for the rest of the day.

She only woke twice, once to receive a tray of food Lady Phasma delivered, and once more when Ren slipped into bed beside her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, dropping a kiss on her forehead. She winced and turned away, keeping her eyes closed. Something inside her ached.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot bunny bit me, man. Things go on, but as usual, Ren makes a lot of mistakes. He's still stuck in the Snoke phase right now. But if you guys know some history, Louis XV--whom Snoke is taking the place of--eventually dies. So our favorite couple may have a better chance at the whole romance thing soon...

She was conflicted. Rey knew she had turned her opinion on him. She had told him it was alright, that they could have a good marriage without love. But then…it seems that perhaps, inside, she had truly just been longing for love all along. But why was she so determined to find it with Ren?

All her life she had struggled. She had struggled on the streets, she had struggled in a different way with Plutt. And now she was tired. She wanted to give in, almost. The backlash from the “horse riding away with her” was large. People whispered and stared at her openly everywhere she went. Jokes were made about it, always told in whispers just out of her hearing. _Why was she riding astride? Was she trying to lose a baby? I heard she was a little wild…_ A verse was made and sang:

_Jakkuian slut_

_Spreads her legs_

_For any horse_

_That throws her away_

Rey knew she could not protect herself from their gossip. All she could do was ignore it. Ren was angered by it, his shoulders tense and angry whenever she saw him, yet his eyes were soft and dark when they looked at her.

She hated his sympathy, shied away from his touch. She knew he had done the best he could to protect her. But something inside her told her to keep away from him and protect herself.

So she did. She kept to herself, spent as much time in her private rooms as possible. And during their quiet, private lunch, very little was said.

One night, however, after she had been changed into her light, beribboned nightgown, she was tensely waiting for Ren’s entrance when he stormed into the room. He went straight for her, and instinctively she backed up and curled her legs towards her as he approached. He grabbed her face and roughly kissed her until she bit him.

“Fuck!” He stumbled back and glared at her, and for a moment she thought he would kiss her again, bloody lip and all. But instead he simply sat down on the bed, touching his finger to his lip.

“What are you _doing?”_ Rey asked, touching her fingers to her lips as well even though there was no injury there. His lips had been hot on hers.

“I’m sorry,” Ren said, his voice bitter and angry. “I just—they—my father has been found.”

Rey stifled her surprise. Ren’s father, the famous ship captain and pirate Han Solo, was the reason why Leia would never inherit the throne. Although she was of the same royal blood Ren was, she had married him without permission from her father and therefore had been stripped of most of her royal rights. However, when Han Solo had left her for the sea once more, she had been accepted back at Versailles. Ren, still a child, had been sent there long before Leia arrived because he was Snoke’s heir.

And now, captured? It had only happened once before, before he had married Leia. Han Solo was famous for being slippery as an eel.

“Why—shouldn’t you be happy?” Rey asked. “You’ll finally get to see him.” How lucky he was. She didn’t have a father to find, since both of her parents were dead.

Ren’s eyes flashed at her as he looked up slowly from his lap. “Happy?” he repeated. “Happy?”

He stood, and Rey flinched automatically.

“Why should I be happy that the common scoundrel my mother married has returned? He never cared enough to see me. He only cares about his damn ship. He is nothing but a common worm—he’s not a drop of royal blood in him.”

Rey flushed, thinking of her past. “Why should that matter?” She asked. “Maybe he cares for you.”

“No.” Ren thundered. “He proved that he didn’t when he left my mother alone to starve in the streets.”

Rey sat up straight and looked at her husband, the thick cords of his muscles strained. He hadn’t even bothered to change into nightclothes. His dark hair hung about haphazardly, and his chest rose and fell angrily.

“Why did she marry him, if he was only to leave her?” Rey asked softly. “Why marry a man like that?”

Ren laughed bitterly. “You should know the answer to that already,” he said. “You’re clever.”

Rey licked her lips. “For…love?”

“Yes,” Ren snapped. “For _love._ ”

Rey’s lips made a silent O, and she clasp her hands in her lap. Finally, it all made sense. Why Ren never visited his mother in the west wing. Why he never spoke of his legendary father. Why he looked up to the king so much. Why he didn’t believe in love.

“What will they do with him?” She asked.

Ren buried his head in his hands. “I’m supposed to go see him, get a confession out of him,” he replied. “Then they shall execute him.”

Rey gasped. “No! Surely not!”

Ren’s eyes were angry slits. “Why do you care?”

“Why…he’s your father!”

Ren shook his head. “He’s not my father. He never was.”

She crept closer to him and cautiously placed a hand on his back. “I’m sorry, Ren.”

He said nothing in reply, only covered his head in his hands again.

“Is there anything I can do?” She asked quietly.

He did not answer again for a while, silent for a moment before uncovering his drawn face. In the candlelight he was beautiful, the light softening his hard jaw and large nose.

“Let me forget for a while, Rey. I can forget it all if I’m with you.”

She was confused by this, but then she understood. Guilt and fear pulsed in her breast, screaming at her to refuse him. But he was hurting. He needed her. And after the torment of the court, or the whispers in the halls, she needed him too.

“Promise me you’ll keep your word,” she whispered.

“Nothing you don’t want,” he breathed, his dark eyes shining in the dim light.

“Promise me you’ll let me stand by your side in this,” she said. He shouldn’t have to do this alone.

“I promise,” he swore.

She held his eyes for a moment, then leaned back against the plush pillows of their canopy bed. He drew near, and she touched his bloodied lip carefully.

“I’m sorry,” she said. He gave her a little smile.

“You can be so sweet sometimes,” he simply said before kissing her.

She did not taste the blood, which had already dried and flaked off. She only tasted him, and the faint taste of the wine he must have drank at dinner. She put her hands on his shoulders, then his thick arms. They kissed for a long time, his tongue searching and enticing hers thoroughly. She felt faint for breath when he moved to her neck, which tickled yet felt so good to be touched. He nipped and mouthed and sucked there, leaving marks she couldn’t cover with fabric. But it was good. It felt like he was marking her as his, finally showing the world that she meant something to him. She liked that. She wanted that.

He pressed her body into the plush mattress until she could feel every hard ridge of his body against hers. And every ridge meant even the hard length of him, straining through his breeches towards her. She hadn’t the faintest idea what to do about it, so she simply left it alone. But he rubbed it against her thigh so insistently that it became hard to ignore.

But what was harder to ignore was the feeling between her legs that loved, simply adored being rubbed against. It became slick and wet, making every slide of his thigh against her apex heavenly. She moaned out accidently, but it only seemed to fuel him, distracting him from how he was handling her clothed breasts.

“Please, let me touch you,” Ren begged, but she shook her head and he groaned.

“Oh Rey,” he hissed, kissing her once, then again as he shifted to put his hard member right where his thigh used to be.

That felt even better. She moaned again and he answered, moving faster. He was hot, and so hard, like his muscles. She almost wanted the cloth separating them gone. But she said nothing, and so it remained as he thrust again and again and again against her.

“Oh Rey, oh darling,” he groaned. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Hold me tighter,” she found herself murmuring. “Please, Ren.”

His lips found hers as he moved even faster, and his arms tightened around her. She felt good, so good, so safe and lovely and— _Oh._

She didn’t understand what had happened, but the good feeling exploded, touching every part of her body. She let out a shrill scream that went straight into his plush lips, and only a moment later he stiffened, groaned, and stopped.

Rey knew how sex worked. She knew what went where, and what she was supposed to do to ensure its completion. But this was not sex. She had made sure of that. But still, somehow, they had both felt something wonderful, and confusing. Something she had never, ever felt before.

He laid on top of her, crushing her a bit. As the wonderful feeling faded, she felt guilty and vulnerable again. But he moved his head and kissed her cheek before shifting off of her to lay beside her.

“Thank you,” he said, and took her hand in his. Her hair was as wild as his now, and she was sure she looked a mess. She had so many questions, but the one that bubbled to the surface was:

“Why me?”

He was confused by this and cocked his head, his breathing still harsh.

“What do you mean?”

She bit her lip and looked up at their canopy. “I mean, why not do the real thing? I know we did not have sex. Why not do it with someone else?”

He stiffened, and again, she did not understand the look that crossed his face.

“You are very beautiful,” was all he said, and she held back a snort.

“There are more beautiful, willing women—“

“They are not my wife.”

She looked over and caught his stern look, a look that was possessive and forbidding all at once. He reached over and pulled her to him.

“No more questions,” he said firmly, pressing her to his chest. She frowned and rubbed her thighs together—they were still sticky from their endeavors.

“Sleep,” Ren requested, and internally she staunchly refused. But somehow, their activity had wiped her clear, and she fell asleep quickly in his arms.

~

When she awoke, there was a letter waiting for her on his side of the bed. She wasn’t sure how he kept leaving without waking her, but she eagerly opened the message.

 

_Rey,_

_I’ll be interrogating my father my father at ten then meeting the king to report at 12. Please meet me at his chambers if you still desire to stand by my side for the sentencing. Please visit my mother beforehand, I’m sure she could use you today._

_-Ren_

For once, she felt useful and was gratified that Ren trusted her to see to his surely grieving mother. Leia was kind, generous, and strong, and Rey had come to greatly admire and care for her. She’d be happy to meet with Leia.

Furthermore, she was glad he kept his promise. She wanted to be his equal, to prove herself capable. And she didn’t want him to have to face this alone.

Leia was quiet, her face like a stone. She was not warm towards anyone, just mostly silent until Rey dismissed her ladies, leaving the two of them to talk by a large window of Princess Leia’s chambers. It looked out onto the orangery of the gardens, which were full of blossoms this time of year.

“How are you, really?” Rey asked after a few moments of silence. Leia, like her son often did, took a moment of silence before answering.

“I feel lost,” she finally said. “I never thought this day would come.”

Rey looked at the beautiful, stately woman. She wore dark grey trimmed with lavender in an older but somehow still regal style. Her hair was not the fashionable puff of curls or tower of hair that so many courtiers wore but an intricate weave of heavy braids. She did not look lost unless you looked into her wide, brown eyes, which were, for the first time Rey had seen, frightened.

“Did you think he’d never get caught? He’s a great pirate,” Rey said. But Leia frowned.

“No. He promised me he’d never return, that’s why.”

Rey’s eyes widened. That wasn’t really what Ren had said. “What?”

Leia looked at her and took her hand. “I made him promise me he’d never return. We made a deal, you see. I was so…wretched when they took Ben away. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. But I couldn’t return unless…unless I swore that Han had left me. The king let me live here, but he still rarely let me see Ben. He said I was a bad influence. He raised him on his own, and I…I fear our relationship has suffered because of it. But I had to be with my child, and Han understood that. So even though we loved each other, he set sail and I returned to Ben.”

“Oh, Leia,” Rey sighed. “Why haven’t you told Ren this?”

Leia frowned and looked away. “He was so young, he wouldn’t have understood the need to keep it a secret. And when he got older, he just…never wanted anything to do with me. I can’t force myself on him.”

Rey pressed Leia’s hand to her chest. “Leia, he believes Han truly did abandon you. He’s so angry…I fear what he will do.”

Leia nodded. “I fear as well. But there’s nothing I can do at this point. Only my brother knew the truth, and he’s gone, away with the monks of old.”

Ah yes. Rey had almost forgotten that Leia had a twin brother, lost to the old faith no longer practiced under the King. It hadn’t been since before Leia’s father had ruled.

“Perhaps…but maybe I can,” Rey said. “Do you mind if I leave? I have to speak with him before the sentencing.”

“He wanted you there?” Leia asked, eyebrow raised. “That’s…unusual. But of course, go.” Her eyes were sad and tired.

Rey nodded and stood, releasing Leia’s hand. But she grabbed her wrist.

“Wait,” Leia said. “Even if the worst does happen…please, tell Ben I want to see Han, one last time.”

Rey bit her tongue and nodded, tears pricking at her eyes. No. That wouldn’t happen. She wouldn’t let it.

Her stays were too tight to run, so she walked briskly. Phasma was the only one who could keep up with her, and she tutted at Rey, “You must take delicate steps, your grace.”

But Rey just ignored her. She was on a mission.

She wasn’t allowed into the tower, where Han was being kept. So she waited outside the doors of the King’s chambers until Ren strode up the hallway, late and disheveled.

“Ren, I need to speak with you.”

He tugged on his cravat and pushed his hair back. His eyes were wild. “Not now, Rey.”

“No, please. It’s about your mother. And Han.”

His dark eyes snapped as he glared down at her. “I have no time to hear about my mothers dribblings. I’m sure she had some sob story for you about how she still loves him, but I’m not buying it today.”

“Ren, please, she said—“

“No, Rey,” he hissed, and grabbed her elbow, pushing her through the double doors into the King’s chambers. He was so ill and gaunt that he no longer could rise from his bed.

“Ah, my heirs,” he sighed as they entered. Rey shook off Ren’s grip and swallowed hard. She had to speak her mind.

“Sire,” Ren said, bowing stiffly. Rey bobbed a quick curtsy and was aware that Snoke’s gaze on her was not admiring today.

“Did you get the confession?” Snoke asked, and to Rey’s horror, Ren nodded.

“He admitted that he willingly left my mother with the intention of breaking their vows,” he replied.

“No, no, that isn’t right,” Rey interrupted, and both men turned to look at her. “Leia told me that—“

“Hush, child.” Snoke said. “Continue, Kylo Ren.”

“No!” Rey said angrily. “That’s just a lie Han told you. He left so Leia could return to you, Ren. She couldn’t live without seeing you.”

Ren stiffened, his entire face froze. “What?” he said.

“Posh,” said Snoke. “It seems that Leia will say anything for love, even if Han doesn’t care.”

“Right,” Ren said, his eyes staring off. “He doesn’t care.”

“Ren, she wouldn’t lie. She said her brother could confirm it—“

“Luke?” Snoke drawled. His disfigured face looked bored. “He’s off in the monasteries in the mountains. He hasn’t been seen around here for at least twenty years.”

“But you must find him. I swear, Leia is telling the truth.”

Snoke looked directly at her and then away. “Control your woman, Kylo Ren. Or I shall.”

“Quiet, Rey,” Ren snapped.

“No! You have to give him a chance—“

“I said silence!” Ren roared, his pale cheeks flushed. He looked away from her and said: “Return to your rooms. I don’t want to see you.”

She paled. “What? But you promised me.”

“And now I’m breaking it. Leave.”

Rey couldn’t let this go, not yet. She had promised Leia, no matter how much Ren’s words hurt her.

“She wants to see him one last time, Ren.”

“Guards!” Ren called. Three guards entered. “She’s hysterical, take her away.”

Rey grabbed onto Ren’s arm. “Just let Leia see him once more. She loves him. Surely you can see—“

He shook her off, looking into her eyes. “No, Rey. No I cannot.”

Rey swallowed, and let herself be led away. She would not be dragged through the halls for everyone to see. She would be graceful, regal. The way she was taught to be. The way Leia looked when Rey left, standing alone at her window.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait, grad school is a killer. But I haven't forgotten about y'all. Thank you for everything!

She was unspeakably angry. Ren did not come to bed that night, and she was glad. She would have torn him to pieces. Prince or no, she would have spit in his face and more.

Instead she isolated herself. She had no one she could trust. She had trusted Ren, and look what he had done. She hated him.

When he tried to come to bed the next night, Rey had the maid turn him away. But he, the stubborn brute, did not take no for an answer.

“Rey, you will speak to me,” he ordered as he stormed in the room, his night time robe billowing behind him.

“No I will not.” She said, leaping up from the bed. She ran across the room to the wall where her private rooms lay behind, but his hand stopped the door just as she tried to close it.

“Rey, just let me explain!”

“No!” She yelled. “There will be no explaining, no excuses.” She tried to slam the door, but he was too strong.

“Fine,” Rey said. “You are stronger than me. I can’t run from you. You won’t listen to what I want. But I will not listen to what you have to say.”

There was a large settee built into the wall made from blue silk. Rey laid down on it and pressed her face into the cushion. She wanted him to leave. She silently prayed for him to leave.

But he didn’t.

“Rey, I was under the eyes of the King.”

She said nothing.

“You can not undermine me in front of him.”

She said nothing.

“Rey, they’re going to execute him tomorrow. If my mother wants to see him, she’ll have to go tomorrow morning. To the tower.”

Rey sat up and looked at him, eyes narrowed. “Are you going to take her?”

Ren stiffened. “No.”

“Then she is to face the tower alone?”

He paused, then sighed. “Yes. Unless you go with her.”

Rey stood and neared him slowly. She stood toe to toe with him and looked into his face with disgust.

“You’re a coward, Kylo Ren,” She said carefully. “And I will never forgive you.”

Hurt flashed across his face and he stepped back. Then he turned around and walked to the door. But he turned around and took a few steps towards her.

“I’ll show you,” he said. “I’ll show you.”

And then he was gone.

~

Ren wasn’t at dinner. Rey was glad. After picking at their dinners, Rey and Leia were loaded into a carriage and taken to the Tower, where Han was kept. Leia was silent, stiff, and guarded. But during the ride, she took Rey’s hand and squeezed it, hard. Rey knew that she was grateful that she was there.

The tower was damp and dark. With Leia clutching Rey’s arm for support, they ascended it, to its top room. When the door opened, though, Leia let go of Rey and fell into the arms of her husband.

“Han!” she cried, burying her face into his surcoat. He clutched at her without abandon, and Rey leaned against the brick wall, trying to be invisible.

“It’s been so long,” came the husky voice of the man. Not just any man, Rey thought. Ren’s father.

She studied him. He had his grey hair tied back in a small tail, and his face was rough and angular like his son’s. He had a gruff look about him, and although his eyes were lighter than Ren’s, they had a familiar shape.

Han pulled back from his wife. “Leia. Don’t cry.”

Rey was shocked to see tears in her mother-in-law’s eyes. The strong, regal woman looked small and vulnerable next to the large man who kept her close.

“I’m not crying, Han,” Leia dismissed quickly. She then gestured to Rey. “Han, this is Ben’s wife, Rey.”

Han sized her up with a quick glance, taking her hand and kissing it. “Ben spoke of you when he was here,” he said.

Rey tried not to look shocked. “Wha-What did he say?”

Han looked embarrassed. “Well, I was giving the kid a hard time about his marriage, telling him he was Snoke’s damn puppet for marrying you, and he well, defended you. Said there was more to it than that.”

Leia’s upturned face looked to Han’s. “Oh Han, did he really?”

Han nodded, then shrugged. “Anyways. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Leia’s hand pressed to Han’s chest. “We don’t have much time,” she reminded him.

He gave a funny little grin. “Then let me kiss you again.”

Rey watched the two embrace and felt a strange ache in her chest. She remembered the kiss Ren had given her at their lunch before, and the one at their picnic. Had he held her like Han held Leia? Had he looked at her like that? Would he ever?

She dismissed the thoughts. She was going it alone now. She didn’t need him, didn’t want his love or lust or whatever. So she pressed herself against the wall again and tried to be inconspicuous.

“Leia, there’s still a chance for him. I saw it in him. He told me that he was being torn apart.”

“I don’t know what to do. It feels like there’s no reaching him. He’s so dismissive—and now he’s angry. He thinks we’ve been lying to him his whole life.”

“Well, we have been. I guess we could have done some things differently.”

There was a heavy silence before Han pressed Leia back into his chest.

“Damn it,” he said. “I’d do everything different if I could. Anything to keep him from being so much like…”

Han’s eyes drifted up to Rey’s, catching her gaze. He frowned.

“Well, anyways. Do what you can, Leia. Don’t give up.”

“I could never,” she said.

Heat bloomed in Rey’s chest. Ren’s parents were so tormented—how dare he do this? How dare he deliver his father to Snoke on a silver platter?

The guard knocked on the door. “Time’s up,” he called.

Leia and Han kissed again, and Rey looked away this time. When she glanced back up, Leia had her hand on Han’s cheek.

“I love you,” she said.

“I know.” He replied, and both smiled. Rey frowned, confused, but the look between the two was so poignant that she realized that there were just some things she couldn’t understand. After all, she’d never been in love.

They parted, and Leia took a hold of Rey’s arm and leaned on her with every stiff step out of the tower.

~

Han was executed at dawn. Rey spent the night in Leia’s room, and Leia spent the night at a window facing the east—towards the tower. Tears slipped down her cheeks silently, and she refused all comforts. Leia turned everyone, including Rey, out of her rooms and insisted on being left alone. Ren was no where to be found. When Rey finally dragged herself to Mass after breakfast in Leia’s room, he was not there. Rey figured the heartless man had some shame and was merely laying low.

So when Rey was out walking in the gardens, ladies in tow, Ren was the last person she expected to see.

He came galloping out of the forest with another man on a horse at his heels. Both he and the horse were out of breath, and his eyes were wild. Rey immediately took the horse’s heaving head in her hands to calm it as Ren came to a stop right in front of her. All the ladies gasped and tittered like frightened swans.

“Rey,” he yelled. “Is he alive? Is my father still in the tower?”

Rey drew back from the horse, her face contorting with confusion. Ren swung down from his horse and his knees almost buckled before he righted himself. He took her arm in his hand and shook it.

“Rey! Does my father live?” he asked with wild, crazed eyes. Holding her breath, Rey shook her head.

“No…Ren, he was executed this morning.”

Ren looked at her for a moment before his face crumpled and his knees gave out. But his grasp on Rey’s arm was tight, and she went down with him.

“Ren?” She asked as they collapsed. “Ren!”

The man on the other horse, a grey haired, bearded man, came around and knelt down.

“Ben, Ben let go of the lady,” he said calmly.

“No,” Ren whispered. “Snoke told me…he told me he’d wait…”

Rey winced as Ren’s thick fingers dug in, but she tried to remain calm.

“What did he say?’ She asked, but Ren shook his head in disbelief.

“Let go of her, Ben,” ordered the mysterious man, and finally Ren’s fingers gave way.

Rey stood in her dirt streaked pink gown, swaying a bit as she did. Phasma pushed through the crowd and took Rey’s arm and pulled her away.

“Come,” she ordered as guards began to surround the scene.

“But—” Rey said.

“No. He does not need us all watching right now.”

Rey let herself be pulled away.

~

Rey was alone in her private rooms, trying to keep it together, when the door opened. She looked up, expecting Ren, but instead seeing the grizzled old man he had arrived with.

“You must be Rey,” the man said, bowing to her. Rey nodded, eyes wandering over the man’s strange clothes. He had on brown robes and the bottom of them were caked with mud.

“Forgive me for intruding,” he said. “I know how important privacy is.”

“Who are you?”

The man gave a sigh. “I’m Luke. Leia’s twin brother.”

Rey’s head shot up. “You’re Luke? The monk?”

Luke lifted his arms and gestured to his robes. “Clearly.”

Rey rose, and then sat. “Then Ren went to get you for Han…to tell the truth.”

“Indeed.”

She looked up at Luke helplessly. “He believed Leia? He wanted to save Han?”

Luke came closer, then sat in a chair close to Rey. “Something made him change his mind. When I last saw him, he was Snoke’s pride and glory—and directly under his thumb. But something has changed since then.”

His eyes were a steely blue. They stared directly into Rey.

“What changed his mind, Rey?”

She stood up. “I need to see him. Where is he?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. He was taken away by guards after he started screaming.”

Rey turned and stared out the window. Her stomach was turning. “Oh god. What could have happened to him?”

Luke’s response was quiet. “I don’t know.”

~

He wasn’t at mass. He wasn’t at dinner. So Rey didn’t expect him to come to bed. But when she entered the bedroom, he was there, sitting on the bed.

“Leave me,” Rey told her ladies. When they began to protest, surprisingly Lady Phasma spoke up.

“Let’s go, ladies.” She ordered. In silence, they all turned and left.

Rey closed the door behind her and leaned against it. Ren said nothing.

Rey slipped off her shoes and walked towards the bed. Rey touched his hand and he jerked it away.

“Aren’t you horrified?” He asked, his voice raspy. “Don’t you hate me for killing him?”

“Ren,” she whispered. “You tried to save him.”

“It wasn’t enough. I was too late.” His back shuddered. “I was too late…”

“Ren…”

His deep voice cracked. “Leave me, Rey. You were right…I was a coward. And now I’m a monster.”

His head in his hands, he began sobbing, loudly. Rey stood in front of his and pried his large hands away from his head and wrapped them around her. She pressed his face into her middle and looked up as his body shuddered with his cries.

“I’m sorry…” he said. “I’m sorry…”

“I know,” Rey said, her throat swelling. “I know.”

They stayed like that until he no longer could cry anymore. Rey brushed back his dark hair from his face and he looked up at her. Their eyes locked.

“Will you unlace me?” She asked quietly. He nodded, and she turned in his hands. His shaking fingers still made swift work of both her dress and corset’s laces. They sank to the floor, leaving her in her wrinkled shift.

She turned, slowly, and his hands went up to her hips. He leaned his head against stomach, resting his dark head there.

“Thank you,” he said.

Rey stroked his hair back and closed her eyes to keep the tears from coming. She was tired and confused by the swells of emotions that went through her.

She stepped back and he looked up at her. She got on the bed beside him and laid down, and he climbed up to lay across from her. She nudged at his arms and then slipped into them. They laid in silence for at least an hour before she fell asleep to the sound of his quiet, mournful breathing.

~

The king did not call either of them to him in the following days, and they were grateful. Ren did not leave his private rooms except to sleep. He refused to admit no one but Rey.

“Are you afraid to face your mother?” She asked him as he picked at one of his locks at his toolbench. She gingerly leaned against the dirty table, wary of ruining another dress, this one a cream and yellow trimmed confection.

“No.”

“Then why don’t you speak to her? She’s hurting.”

He slammed the lock down against the table, then pushed it away. Not looking up, he said, “Because I’ll only make her pain worse.”

“You didn’t do this—”

“Yes, Rey. I did.” He finally looked at her through his mop of greasy, black hair. “And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

He hadn’t washed in days, hadn’t eaten. But still Rey caressed his cheek. Somehow, she liked this humbled man more than his predecessor.

“Come with me. You need to eat a little,” she pressed, but he shook his head.

“I’m fasting. For penance.”

Rey grabbed a hold of his arm. “Stop punishing yourself. Snoke is the one who killed your father.”

“No,” He began to argue, but then something in his face broke. A tear slipped down his cheek.

Rey brushed it away. “Yes. He did. He was the only one who ordered the execution. Who ordered you to get a false confession.”

“He didn’t know it was false—”

“He wanted to kill him. Not for Leia. To silence him. To hurt you. He knew, Ren. He knew.”

He was silent. Then he turned to Rey and grabbed her, pressing her into his chest.

“I’m a fool,” he said quietly. Rey tensed, then relaxed into his hold. She patted his back, and held her breath. He needed a bath.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the wonderful responses! You all are lovely. I'm busy putting together a moodboard for this story, and I'll post it on tumblr when I'm done, so follow me there at alicecantescape!

Distractions were the key to Ren’s recovery. They began spending a lot of time together—Riding, walking, visiting Leia. After a heartbreaking reunion, mother and son finally could be in each other’s company now.

Leia had shed a few tears in her son’s arms, but she did not blame him. She blamed Snoke.

“What can we do?” Rey asked Ren one night in bed, their faces close and voices hushed, for there were spies everywhere.

“We must wait,” Ren said grimly. “He is protected. He is supported by the court. We cannot touch him.”

Rey nodded, her thoughts elsewhere. Ren brushed her hair back and leaned forward. Her heart rate picked up, skipping a few beats before his lips met hers in a passionate, needy kiss. He shifted over her, kissing her heavily, his tongue caressing hers while he nipped at her bottom lip. She responded by grabbing fistfuls of that dark, wavy hair and pulling him closer. She had not exactly forgiven him, but she saw a change in him that healed her hurt. And he needed her, badly. He needed this…distraction. Every night it was the same.

They kissed for a long time until she could no longer ignore his rock-hard length prodding against her, searching for warmth and wetness through the fabric of their shifts. She discovered he was big, long, and hot during these little distractions. And he had often touched her until she cried out, touched the slick, wet center of her with his long but skilled fingers. How she loved those fingers, the pads of them rough and textured but their caressing gentle. Still, even with all this, he was patient. He did not insist on consummating their marriage, and for that she was grateful.

For she still held distrust in her heart. She was scared of rejection, that he would tire of her. After all, he had told her he had not loved her. But there was something more between them now, unspoken and hidden behind long glances and the cautious touch of their fingertips. When they were alone, they talked. Or rather, Ren talked.

Like the floodgates had opened, he told her about his childhood and his fears. She learned how he used to be made to pray for hours on end for his sins and his father’s sins, kneeling on the stone floor of the chapel until his knees bled. How little he had known of his mother, not seeing her for weeks on end except for a glance in the halls. How he was raised to be a king—no friends, only books and church and fencing. It made Rey want to tell him the truth about herself—that she was no body, really. That she too had never felt the loving touch of a mother. But she kept that to herself, only nodding sympathetically. He never prodded her with questions, but sometimes she’d catch him watching her like she was a mystery. Like he was waiting for her to say something.

One night, a month after Han’s death, Ren asked her if she was still being scrutinized for pregnancy. This surprised her. Had he not noticed their eyes on her every time they were in public? Could he not hear the whispers?

“No, I haven’t,” he confessed when she told him. She laid on her back and laid her hands on her flat stomach.

“I suppose you’re used to it,” she found herself saying blandly as he played with a piece of her hair. He stiffened, frozen for a moment, and then his fingers turned her chin towards him.

“Does it bother you so badly, sweetheart?” He asked, and she felt something inside her melt. Wordlessly she nodded.

He frowned. “Do you want me to go away somewhere so they stop wondering? They cannot look for pregnancy if I am not here to give you a child.”

She sat up. “You would do that?” She asked, grabbing his hand. He kissed it.

“Anything that would make you feel better. But I would not be happy to be parted from you.”

She nodded. “No, I don’t want that either. I can handle it, truly.”

He tilted his head and pulled her to come rest in his lap. “Then why ask me if I would do it?”

She shrugged. “Maybe I just couldn’t believe it.”

He sat up so their breaths mingled. She looked away from his dark, piercing stare.

“I will protect you, Rey. Until there is no more breath in my body.”

She frowned and tried to turn away, but he wouldn’t let her. Instead he drew her closer, so close that she could feel the lines of his body.

“Why?” she whispered. No one had ever made such a vow. No one cared as much for her.

“Because I…I vowed to.” He replied, and she felt her heart sink. She realized how much she wanted him to just say it to her. She wanted his love so badly it was hurting her. She hated herself for wanting it. But she couldn’t stop.

When she pressed her face against his neck, he didn’t say anything. If he noticed the hot tear that ran down her cheek, he did not say anything about it either.

~

A few days later, Rey heard Lady Jessika Dameron whispering about a ball being held not far from Versailles. What a wonderful distraction, Rey mused. It would give her a chance to stop being so depressed about Ren, and give him a chance to get out of the palace. So Rey took Lady Dameron into her confidence and asked her to take them with her.

Ren grumbled about it as she finished dressing her hair with two long, black feathers. Her gown was a tight black bodice—without long sleeves! It blossomed into a skirt made entirely of swathes of black tulle that were so light that they quivered with every step. It was a masquerade, so Rey made sure to make a little mask of black tulle as well, to cover her eyes. It was a cunning little thing, but not a good disguise. Ren, on the other hand, had a hat and a real mask to cover his face. He feared being recognized, but he dressed in black to match her. They made a stunning couple, Rey thought, or at least he did. His pale skin glowed against the black, and his imposing figure was only made more so in the dark fabric. She gave him a small kiss on the corner of his lips before dragging him out the door to the carriage that awaited them out back.

Jessika was waiting with her husband, a Lord Poe Dameron. He and Ren apparently knew each other well, because Poe greeted him as if he were an old friend.

“Ah, Prince Ren! It’s been too long.”

Ren grunted a greeting and visibly frowned when Poe took Rey’s hand.

“A pleasure, my lady. My wife is lucky to be in service to the dauphine.”

“Thank you, I am lucky to have her,” Rey said, charmed by the suave young man. Ren bristled and ushered her quickly into the carriage, taking the seat beside her hurriedly.

Poe and Jessika were well matched—both could chatter like birds. They were thrilled to have the royal couple with them, and swore each other to secrecy—“It won’t get past our marriage bed,” Poe said, winking.

“We never get out of the palace,” Rey said, easily getting swept up in their excitement.

“Well I’m glad you chose us to take such a risk,” Poe said, grinning ear to ear. Ren said nothing.

They entered the main hallway, which was packed with people. Hair was incredibly high and garish colors adorned every woman. Rey was glad to have worn black. The stairs were marble, the hall all white and gold. Ren moved so slowly that Rey had to take his hand to drag him through the crowd to keep up with the Damerons.

“Come on, Ren,” she urged. Through his mask, she could see his unhappy glare.

“When are we leaving?” He asked, and she sighed.

“We just got here. At least have a drink.”

She had one. Or two. She couldn’t quite remember. She danced with Jessika, she danced with Poe, she even managed to dance with her husband. She danced with a few strangers too, trying to pretend she didn’t notice Ren’s glare from across the floor. They swiveled in circles, hands clasped. They bobbed and weaved in flower petal-like patterns across the ornate dance floor.

The champagne tasted fresh and sweet, like how a daisy should taste, Rey thought. Jesika took her by the hand and dragged her here and there, introducing her as Lady Ren to groups of people, and no one seemed to recognize her. Even when she lost Ren in the crowd she still smiled, enjoying the silly jokes she heard and laughing at almost nothing. Everyone was. Best of all, no one looked at her stomach.

She and Jessika were talking about the absurdity of the new wide hoops when Jessika gave a funny little giggle.

“That man keeps staring at you,” she whispered.

That was strange. No one had done that tonight except her husband. Perhaps she was being recognized?

The man was tall, dark skinned, and handsome. His hair was hidden beneath a dark wig, and he wore no mask. And yes, he was staring openly.

Rey turned back to Jessika. “Do you think he knows me?”

Jessika shrugged. “I doubt it. I think he’s looking for quite a different reason, Princess.”

Rey turned back just in time to see him begin towards her. As she felt him come up to her, Jessika giggled again and touched Rey’s hand. “Have fun,” she said.

Alarmed, Rey took in a breath and turned towards the man. His dark eyes were kind, but curious.

“Do I know you?” He asked. She smiled nervously.

“I don’t think so.”

He cocked his head. “Will you tell me who you are?”

She bit her lip. “Will you?”

He took her hand and kissed it. “I am Finn Trooper, a visiting advisor from the United States. We are fighting for our freedom, you know.”

Rey nodded even though she wasn’t quite sure. She thought she’d heard some whispers about the Colonies becoming their own territory, but Phasma dismissed it as “improper discussion.”

“And are you having much luck with the king?” She asked. He frowned.

“No, I’m not I’ve only seen him once though. I hear he’s quite ill.”

Rey shrugged. She hoped he was, the bastard.

“Now will you tell me who you are?”

She smiled again, flashing her teeth as her eyes found Ren in the crowd. He looked angry, and she wanted to go to him. She was getting tired, and this man was looking at her like he knew she was hiding something.

“I’m just a lady. Lady Ren,” she said coyly. She tried to slip away, but he grabbed her hand.

“Wait. I mean no ha—”

“Get your hand off my wife.”

Ren was suddenly afoot, his hand on Finn’s, which slowly released Rey’s.

“I’m sorry,” Finn said. “I just thought—”

“You thought wrong,” Ren growled, whisking Rey away from Finn. She felt a little embarrassed, but was overall grateful. Her head was feeling a little funny.

As Ren dragged her away, he growled, “Have you had enough fun then? Can we go home now?”

She nodded breathlessly as he headed straight for the Damerons. They all got into the carriage and headed towards home. They had stayed so long the sun was coming up. Ren took her hand and she leaned against him. As Rey looked out of the window at the sunrise, she smiled.

~

To their surprise, guards were waiting for them, along with Lord Hux. Rey’s smile fell right away, and Ren stiffened. He got out and let her out of the carriage, extending his arm to her so she could get down safely before he turned to Lord Hux.

“The king has fallen ill and died,” Hux said stiffly before he fell to his knees, as did the rest of the guards. “Long live His Majesty, King Kylo Ren.”

Poe and Jessika gasped and fell to their knees as well, and Ren simply looked at Rey.

“We are young,” he said quietly. “We must do our best.”

Rey nodded, and they too got on their knees, as they had been advised to do in this situation. “Dear god,” Ren said quietly. “Help us and guide us.”

The rest of the day was a flurry of activity. They were ushered in to change and take mass, and advisors and councils kept Ren apart from Rey for the rest of the day and into the night. She fell asleep waiting for him to come to bed.

The next morning was their coronations. Ren was tall and regal in an ermine cloak and gold suit, and Rey wore a gold and white trimmed gown truly made for a queen. It had diamonds clustered in the pattern of the silk. Ren was crowned first, his dark hair tied back with a green ribbon. She was proud of him for refusing to wear a wig, even now. Leia told him Han had always done the same. Leia was dressed in dark purple, still privately mourning her husband but clearly proud of her son. She kissed both him and Rey at the following coronation ball, wishing them luck.

“I am glad I never had to rule,” she told Rey privately. “May God grant you both safety in your reign.”

The crowns were studded heavily with diamonds, rubies, and sapphires as well as intricate loops of gold. They were lovely but heavy, and Rey excused herself early from the ball in order to take it off. She could do such a thing now. She was queen.

Ren had the same idea and followed her swiftly. They did not speak as Rey’s maids helped her change and brushed out her hair. Only when they were all gone did they both relax into the silence.

“He’s gone now, Rey,” Ren said quietly. “We are truly safe now.”

He found her hand in the dark.

“We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to,” Rey breathed. They looked at each other for a long moment.

“We’re free,” Ren said, and Rey nodded into the darkness.

They were free. No longer did she have to fear being sent back to Jakku. No longer did she have to hear the lewd comments or feel Snoke touch her cheek. No longer did she have to wonder if he knew about their fake consummation. Inside, she knew Ren would never send her away. He was patient, even when he didn’t need to be. He was kind, even when he did not want to be. He was protective, even when she did not need it.

Without a word, Rey lifted herself up and settled herself over Ren. Then their lips met, and she knew what she wanted to do.


	8. Chapter 8

“Rey,” Ren said, cupping her cheeks. He looked deeply into her eyes, as if he could sense something was different. “We don’t have to do this.”

She nodded, her mouth a firm line.

“I want to.”

Something lit up in Ren’s eyes, and he pressed his mouth to hers with a hunger she had yet to experience. He sat up so she was perched in his lap, still kissing each other passionately. His arms came around her and when they parted for breath his eyes stared straight into hers.

They were impossibly dark, almost black and hypnotizing as he gazed at her. She swallowed nervously as she felt him hard against her thigh.

“Say it again,” he commanded, his voice rough.

“I want…I want this.”

He groaned, tipping his forehead towards hers like he had been waiting for her to say those words.

“Oh, Rey,” he breathed. “Tell me what you want.”

She wasn’t sure what to say, or if she wanted to say it at all. It was embarrassing. But he wanted-no, he craved this. She could feel him, hot and hard against center. His fingers threaded into hers, pinning them to the bedsheets. She swallowed and looked up at him.

“I want you…inside of me.”

“Yes,” he groaned, grinding down against her. She threw her head back as he let go of one of her hands to dip down beneath her shift and touch her center. They both inhaled sharply as he found her wet, and his eyes fluttered closed.

He drew back enough to rip her shift down the center until her body laid bare to him. She gasped, partly at his actions and partly at the waste of a good shift. But he was not paying attention to the torn fabric now that it revealed her to him.

“Rey,” he said with awe. “My queen.”

She flushed at such a title and at his eyes, so raw and adoring. He drew his hands across her skin, her shoulders and her breasts down to her stomach, leaving fire in their wake. She squirmed at that, realizing she liked it. He did it again, stopping to cup her breasts in his palms, squeezing lightly.

“You are beauty,” Ren said, his voice deep and rough. She loved the sound of it and reached up to pull his clothing off, wanting more of this man.

He was revealed to her like an artist reveals a statue to the public. She took a breath in at his beauty, the strength and tone of his muscles like the marble of a statue. Hard and tight across his body, he was beautiful. She wanted to touch him all over and tried to, listening to the deep groan he made as she drew her hands across him. And his member, engorged and dripping onto her stomach, it stood proudly between two hard thighs. It was so pink it was almost red, appearing painful. It was long and thick, and for some reason Rey just wanted to touch him, taste him. She reached for the strange appendage, hesitantly wrapping her hand around him and giving him a light stroke as she had seen him do on occasion. He hissed and stilled her hand, making her grip him tighter.

“Harder,” he said. “Yes, just like that.”

She moved a little faster, and this time he stilled her hand for good, unwrapping her fingers from the shaft delicately.

“Not yet,” he ground out, caging her within his arms again. He rubbed his member against her wet folds, and she cried out, grabbing onto his shoulders for leverage.

“Oh Ren,” she gasped. “More, there.”

It was not dissimilar to when he had rubbed her with his fingers, but somehow better knowing he too was receiving pleasure. When he dragged himself down to where there was a little give, she jumped.

“Shh,” he hushed. “I know. Not yet, I can wait.”

She nodded, connecting to his eyes again. He kissed her, his mouth warm and sloppy but demanding. When she was gasping for breath he pressed hot kisses to her jawline before coming to rest by her ear.

“A man…at the ball…asked me…whether you had been deflowered yet,” he hissed. “I was so angry, darling. How dare they speculate…on such a private matter.”

She could barely nod as he rubbed himself against her wetness. She could feel his member twitch, it sought her warmth.

“I hate it,” she whispered back. “But that’s not why…I’m doing this.”

He suddenly stopped, and she bit back a whine, opening her eyes. He was staring down at her intently, so much so that it made her uncomfortable.

“What is it?” She asked.

“Why?” he asked. “Why are we doing this?”

She bit her lip and turned her head to the side until he forced her to look back at him.

“Ren, please. Can’t we just—”

“No. I want to know.”

She knew why. She knew why she wanted to do this now. Seeing him as a new man since his father’s death had cultivated something already budding inside her. And now that they were free, now that she could do this without fear or for the wrong reason, she knew why she wanted it so badly.

She loved him. It was simple.

But she couldn’t tell him. He would recoil, tell her again how he couldn’t love. And she so much didn’t want to be rejected. She just wanted to pretend, for one night, that he loved her as much as she did him. That he knew her, really knew her, and still would accept her. He saw her as a queen, as his equal. She didn’t want to let that go. Maybe he could love a queen, someday. But never a desert rat.

She cupped his cheeks, feeling swelling in her throat.

“If you care about me,” she finally said. “You won’t make me tell you why.”

There was pain in his eyes, and she wondered if he had guessed it. But he pressed a kiss to her forehead and smoothed her hair back.

“Ok,” he murmured. “Ok.”

He touched her with such tenderness, such sweetness, that Rey could easily fantasize that he loved her. He moved his fingers inside her, opening her up. She sighed out relief as he lined himself up with her opening, his eyes boring into hers.

“Tell me again, sweetheart.”

She raised her chin and smiled a little.

“I want you,” she said. “I need you, Ren.”

He notched himself inside and then withdrew, giving the most shallow of thrusts that made her moan with want.

“Now, Ren!” She demanded, and with one great thrust it was done.

She was filled with a sharp pain that dulled to throbbing. She bit her lip to keep from crying out, but he caught her and stayed still, kissing her gently all over her face.

“Darling,” he murmured as she gave a little sob. Her arms tightened around his neck, keeping him close to her. She could smell the comforting scent of the soap he used and found herself burying her face into his neck. There, she was safe.

He rocked back and forth carefully, encouraged by her silence. Soon they were moving together and it actually felt good, like his fingers but so much better.

“Let me see you,” he said into her ear, and she eased her grip so he could hover above her and look down.

“There’s my wife,” he said. “My queen.”

She licked her lips. “And you, my king,” she said.

His grin grew feral, and he kissed her so hard she feared bruising. He thrust again and again, harder this time. He began to rub the front of her as he thrust more and more erratically.

“Come on, Rey,” he mumbled. “Come for me, sweetheart,”

She was trying, but the harder he went the harder it was to focus on the feeling. He was going so fast that she could barely keep up. The bed moved with them, the mattress banging against the wall with each thrust. She wrapped her legs around his slim waist and held on for dear life as he took her, took all of her and claimed it for himself.

He cried out and she gasped as warmth filled her and he stilled. She could feel him throbbing inside of her, filling her with his seed.

“Damn it,” he muttered, and something inside her fell. He was displeased?

He raised his head and his eyes glinted at her beneath his dark bangs.

“You didn’t come,” he stated. She could only look at him until he pulled himself out of her, leaving her aching and empty.

“Ren,” she began, but before she could get another word out she was enveloped in warmth and wetness. She looked down and saw his mouth on her, at her apex, and she cried out.

“Ren!” Surely this was a sin. But it felt so good, his rough tongue against her most sensitive places, so gentle but firm. She climbed higher instantly, her hands fisting into his dark hair to push him a little closer. When she finally came it was a crescendo of pleasure that exploded in her entire body, making her stomach cramp a little on the downfall.

He flopped onto the bed next to her as she caught her breath with a smile. She looked over at him, and he leaned over to give her a light kiss.

“I wanted you to come on my cock,” he admitted. “But I fear I was too rough. Are you disappointed, darling?”

She shook her head. “How could I be…after…that?”

He laughed and pulled her to be close to him. She snuggled into his warm body, for a chill was already beginning to fall on her naked body. He pulled the covers over them but kept his hands on her naked skin beneath the blankets. As she fell asleep, he murmured something to her, but she didn’t understand it. So she fell asleep, warm in his arms.

~

“Your Highness.”

Rey stirred, wondering why someone was speaking.

“Your Highness!”

Her eyes flew open.

Lady Phasma, along with several of her other ladies stood before her. Phasma looked amused.

“My lady, are you alright?”

Rey sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “I’m fine…did I sleep late?”

“Yes, through mass.”

Rey smiled a little. So she missed mass. She didn’t care. She didn’t care! She had had the best night of her life, she was queen. She could do anything.

She sat up straight and squared her shoulders. “I’m not ready to get out of bed,” she said. “Would you bring me a bowl of coffee and a plate of petit fours?”

Phasma looked shocked. “Are you unwell? You should be taking your morning meal in the breakfast room—”

“No. I don’t feel like eating in public today. I want to have my breakfast right here.”

“And you don’t wish for a more…substantial meal?”

Rey fixed her with a look and then smiled a little. “No. I want petit fours.”

Phasma lifted her chin and gave an answering smile. “Yes, my lady.”

~

Later that day, Ren joined her for a walk. She had forgone her hairdresser for the day, leaving her hair full but down, the curls spilling over her shoulder. He, like Phasma, seemed amused.

“I hear you disrupted your morning routine.”

“Is that your concern?” she asked flippantly.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it. “You are my concern.”

Rey glanced at his dark eyes and blushed a little.

He stopped them and brought his other hand to her cheek, examining the pinkness that was there.

“You are exquisite,” he said. “But are you feeling alright?”

She frowned a little. “Everyone keeps asking me that. But all I am doing I breaking routine a little. Why shouldn’t I? We are free.”

Ren tilted his head. “We mustn’t upset the courtiers too much. It’s how we keep them in line.”

Rey shook her head. “Why must we constantly entertain them? Don’t they have their own lands to run? What about their people?”

Ren frowned and brushed his hair back out of his eyes, but it only fell back. Rey sighed and drew away from him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m so tired of the stares, Ren.”

He pulled her close and kissed her. “Well, soon you may be pregnant. That should stop them.”

She pushed away from him and let out a sound of frustration. “No it won’t! They’ll never stop. Don’t you understand? We finally can do what we want.”

Ren sighed. “I don’t know how to be a king, Rey. I was taught by a man whose word I can no longer trust. I’m afraid to do the wrong thing.”

Rey slid her hand into his. “I wasn’t raised for this either. But we can figure this out together.”

He gave her a small smile, and kissed her hand in his. “You always know what to say. You are dangerous, my lady.”

She smiled back. “Give life a try, Ren. Taste privacy again.”

He tilted his head thoughtfully. “I will.”

She beamed. “Then let’s celebrate.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to improve the quality of my writing, I feel like Ive been a bit sloppy. Your support makes me want to be a better writer! Thank you so much.

They celebrated with a private party, held in the sitting rooms of their wing of the palace. Rey wore a dress without her hoops to celebrate their new freedom, but it was beautiful just the same. Dark green as a forest that brought out her snapping hazel eyes, the sleeves of the gown frothy with lace. Ren wore his usual black, but he let his hair surround his face instead of attempting to tie it back behind his head.

Only the young were invited. Rey chose several of her ladies, including Lady Jessika and Lady Rose, and they all drank champagne, stuffed themselves with cakes and sweets, and played cards late into the night. Ren did not drink, but instead beat many men at poker, which inflated his pride and let him forget the death of his father and the sadness of his mother a little.

Deep into the night, when the party had waned, Ren scooped Rey up from her gilded chair into his arms and carried her off to bed. This was to the great delight of their guests, who cheered them on as they left the room.

Rey gathered her bearings and looped her arms around Ren’s neck, gazing at him with shock.

“Why, how could you do such a thing?” She sputtered. “A gentleman—”

“I am no gentleman,” Ren interrupted, nibbling on her neck. “I am king.”

She laughed and kicked her small feet a bit as he carried her. “You are enjoying yourself for once,” She said with surprise. “Are you sure you haven’t been drinking?”

“Not a drop,” he swore.

He entered their bedroom with a swagger she hadn’t yet seen before dropping her unceremoniously on the bed. She gasped a laugh as she felt his hands all over her tightly corseted body. She found herself on her stomach at the edge of the bed, her legs hanging over the edge with him at her back when she felt him pull up her skirts.

“Ren!” She admonished as she felt her bottom half become bare to him. He laughed and pressed the tip of his member to her opening.

“Let me have you, Rey,” He said, his voice deep and entrancing. “I want my queen.”

Her whole body shuddered and she gave a small nod. He sheathed himself inside her tightness and groaned, long and low. She let out a small gasp as she became filled, and for a moment he let her adjust to the incredible feeling of fullness.

But then he began to move. He rocked her back and forth, his hips nudging hers in a steady rhythm. He made love to her fast and hard, which was just the way she craved. She only wished she could see him, see him biting his lip to keep from moaning and see his wild eyes on hers. Her breasts shook with every wanton thrust, threatening to burst out of her gown. Her corset was laced too tightly for this, and she found herself gulping down air when she had the small chance. But, she had to admit, this angle felt incredible. He was naturally tilted up, and the tip of his slick member rubbed against the top of her insides in just the right way.

“So good, so good,” she babbled, and she could almost feel his smug smile.

“My wife,” he uttered. “Mine. All mine.”

Something in her disagreed with this sentiment, but she was too close to argue with him. He exploded inside her, and the feeling of him pulsing inside her like a heart made her unravel around him. She moaned as the feeling of wetness slid down her inner thigh.

He pulled out and kissed the back of her neck. She tried to stand, but her legs were like gelatin and shook when she put her weight on them. Her voluminous skirts fell back down to her feet, wrinkled like fine tissue paper.

“Was I too rough?” He asked, taking her into his arms properly. She shook her head but avoided his gaze. He kissed her jaw, then her cheek, then her forehead.

“I have little doubt that you are with child now,” he said with a grin, kissing her fully on the mouth. She was a little startled.

“Is that what you want?” she asked. “A child?”

He looked confused. “Of course,” he said.

She was perplexed. He wanted her, called her his queen, made love to her, wanted a child with her, but he didn’t love her? She was conflicted and found solace in the one place she knew where to find it.

She buried her head in his neck and bit back tears angrily. She was frustrated with herself for falling in love with this man who couldn’t love her. And she was angry at him for treating her like he loved her—she felt like a stupid fool. But she couldn’t help but seek comfort in him.

He rubbed her back. “Don’t you want children?” He asked.

She nodded. She wanted dark haired children who would run through the gardens and would ride with her and Ren on their saddles. She wanted that, badly. She had never had a family, and she knew she would love those children with all of her heart.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, pressing a kiss to her brow. She wanted to scream and push him away, tell him not to do such sweet things to her.

“Nothing,” she said. “Just hold me, please.” He nodded and did as she asked, and for that she was grateful. But later, when he was asleep and she lay in his arms, she let one tear escape. She had been trained for this, had been prepared to have the children of a man she didn’t love. But she hadn’t been prepared to have the children of a man she did love. It hurt more than anything else she could have imagined, even worse than the gnaw of starvation or the bite of winter.

~

Rey threw herself into her freedom. She knew it wouldn’t last—she just knew it. She drank champagne and held private party after private party. She gambled and worked hard to improve the palace—planting trees and refurnishing rooms. She felt like she needed a purpose, something to drive her from the boredom and monotony that had been forced upon her in the beginning of her marriage.

Winter came, along with the Christmas festivities. Naboo was covered in a clean blanket of snow, making everything pretty and bright. The royal couple was loathe to leave the warmth of their palace while only ten miles away, peasants fought over scraps of firewood and crusts of bread. But Rey did not know a thing about it, for she was never informed about the matters of their country. If Ren knew, he did not tell her, not yet. He drove himself into happy distraction, the main one being his wife. He seemed to enjoy her company and sought it whenever he had a spare moment. He plied her with gifts of jewelry and pets and whatever she dared to mention. Their nights were filled with pleasure, and if she seemed subdued afterwards, he did not notice.

For love burned in Rey’s heart more than anything. And that’s how it felt—like it was burning her alive. She was filled with desire to be with him, rejoiced in the time he did spend with her, and was bitterly at conflict with herself the entire time.

She wanted to hate him, and after every coupling she swore she would never do it again. She didn’t care about pregnancy or desire or anything else. If it would make her sorrows stop, she would do it. She would refuse him, refuse his open mouthed kisses on her neck and breasts, refuse his clever fingers from dancing inside her. But as Christmas came closer, she found it harder and harder to resist him—and then she found out why. For it had finally happened.

She was pregnant.

When the cloths she used for her monthly bleeding came away clean day after day, she realized she had to tell Ren before the news got out. Only a few days before the Christmas festivities, she felt it was terrible timing. She had no desire to encourage the crowd of courtiers to stare at her even more.

So that night she dutifully faked her way through sipping champagne and wine, pouring them out to a nearby plant instead and rose without resistance when the clock chimed eleven. Ren followed her to their bedroom eagerly, clearly thinking she had something else planned for them.

Once they were alone by only the light of the fire, he began removing his clothing. Although his bare, creamy chest was lovely in the dim light, she stopped him.

“What is it?” He asked curiously, dropping his shirt to the floor and drawing near her. “Are you unwell?”

She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “I am well,” she assured him. “But I must confess something to you.”

Immediately his face was stormy and she knew that he was thinking the worst. She almost wished it was so. For some reason, she felt this final tie to Ren was like a noose around her neck—so strange, when she wanted his children. Perhaps it was because she believed he would now find another woman to bed while she pregnant—he had done his duty, and he did not love her. Why would he stay? Men had needs, Rey supposed. And she knew he did not need her as she needed him.

“I am with child,” she finally said, breaking the silence.

Ren’s face was filled with relief and then with joy. He swept her up into his arms, kissing her on the mouth firmly.

“Oh, darling! that is wonderful.” He gazed at her with reverence, then gently placed her back on the bed to sit. He held her hand and sat next to her, his other arm going around to wrap around her waist.

“You are happy then?” Rey asked, her voice strained. He used his fingers to tilt her chin up so their eyes could meet, hazel against dark.

“Of course I am. Our prayers have been answered,” he said. “Aren’t you relieved?”

She supposed she should be. Instead, all she felt was acute misery. This was it—the last few moments she would have without being filled with doubt and fear that Ren had gone astray.

She had been quiet for too long. Ren frowned, his brow creasing. “Rey? What is it?”

She shook her head. He kissed her forehead and sighed.

“What a wonderful gift,” he said quietly, and Rey swallowed hard. She never thought she’d be the jealous type, and she still figured she wasn’t, not really. She was filled with sadness, not envy.

When she didn’t answer him again, he grew worried and cupped her face with his hands. “What is it, my love?”

For a moment, she was still. Then a gasp escaped her and she leaned back away from those treacherous hands. Her hand sprung up and slapped him hard across the cheek.

She was shocked, not only at him but at her own conduct. She hardly ever struck anyone. But she couldn’t believe that he would say such a thing to her, such a sugar coated lie straight to her face. She knew he could not love her, had never loved her. Did he think she was so dumb to believe that he did because of a few gifts and touches?

He stared at her with an open mouth and angry eyes. “Rey--!”

“How dare you,” she breathed, tears gathering swiftly on her lashes. “How dare you mock me so. I am your wife.”

He continued to stare at her, confusion overcoming his expression. “What--?”

“I know you do not love me,” she hissed. “Do you think I am stupid?”

His face flooded with understanding and he got up and stood over her. He reached for her but she shied away, afraid of being struck.

“I hate you,” she finally burst out. “I hate you and I don’t want to see you!”

She turned and fled as fast as she could in her tight stays. He did not follow her, and she eventually found an unoccupied bedroom to lay down and sob in. She fell asleep, exhausted from the emotional turmoil inside her.

~

She awoke to a different world. Her ladies, having finally found her in the morning, informed her that Ren had ridden off to the hunting lodge in the middle of the night. He was not at mass, nor did he return that night. She slept alone in the same quarters they had fought in last night.

She laid beneath the sheets, filled with regret. How could she have told him that she hated him? It was the farthest thing from the truth. Not that either statement mattered—she couldn’t change a man like Ren’s mind. He was stubborn as an ox but as handsome as a racing horse. If only there was something she could have done.

He was at mass the next morning, which was well, for it was Christmas Eve. There was to be a grand ball held, and it would be awful to have the entire court notice his absence. News of her pregnancy had already spread, and she received congratulations and sly stares everywhere she went. But he did not sit next to her as he often did, and did not wait for her afterwards. She realized he was doing such because of what she had said and felt even more regretful. This was her doing. She had said she didn’t want to see him.

Perhaps, she thought, it was best this way. She had intended to push him away in order to heal her broken heart. Now she had that chance. Perhaps she’d get over him now, and she could finally reconcile herself into being just his dutiful wife.

Her stomach, always in turmoil now that she was pregnant, reminded her of the baby they had made. As she bent over a chamber pot after breakfast, heaving into the bowl, she scolded herself for getting so worked up. She had a child now to think of, and she must pay heed to it. She knew that if Ren did not love it, she must. And she knew she would. It was a blessing, she realized. For now, Ren could not divorce her even if he was displeased with her. And it was a small, small reminder of the passion that they had shared for a few fitful months. She stroked her stomach in private and thought protectively that she loved it. It would receive the love she had so much of in her heart. If Ren didn’t want it, she’d give it to their child.

~

The ball was lovely, as always. Jessika seemed to enjoy herself, and Lady Rose Teko, who had also recently become pregnant, stayed with Rey almost the entire night. She did her best to cheer up the morose queen, even though she didn’t know why she was so down.

“Where is those appetizers?” Rose murmured as she and Rey stood at the edge of the ballroom. “You must be starving.”

“No, I’m fine,” Rey said, but Rose was in no mood to take no for an answer.

“You’ve got to keep up your strength, your grace. Eating is the most important part of being pregnant.”

Rey caught sight of Ren then, standing on the stairs, speaking to a large group of people, which was unusual. He had really grown as a king, she thought, no longer shying away from his responsibilities as he once had. She unconsciously drifted towards him, catching the end of the conversation.

“…And the Americans want our help in fighting for their freedom. But I think it may be unwise, of course, in today’s climate…” Ren said. Rey cocked her head and listened for a while, surprised at the political talk she was hearing. Ren barely mentioned anything to her when they were alone. She hadn’t realized he had such a big decision to make. Silently, she wished he had shared his thoughts with her. She had an opinion too, and thought she could be helpful.

A man, the Lord Hux and his wife, approached Ren amidst his discussion. He had a forced smile that gave Rey chills. She knew Ren disliked Snoke’s old advisor.

“Congratulations on your future child, your grace,” Hux said snidely, and his wife nodded. Ren visibly stiffened, then nodded in return.

“My wife and I thank you,” he replied lowly. Hux raised his glass.

“May it be a son,” he said before drinking the entire glass.

Ren nodded, but did not reply. His expression betrayed him though—for a moment, there had been tenderness in it, the same tenderness he had displayed the night Rey had told him of their child. She swallowed hard. What could it mean? Could Ren love their child?

She did not get much time to ponder, for a hand touched her arm, startling her out of her thoughts. She turned and saw a familiar face—the trooper from America, Finn.

“Hello,” he said. “I know who you are now, your grace.”

She smiled a little as he kissed her hand. “I guess you found one of our new coins then.” New coins had recently been minted to display both her and Ren’s profiles on them.

“No, actually. A friend at the masquerade saw us talking and told me who you were after you left.”

“I see.”

He smiled a friendly, open grin. “I had no idea I was talking to the Queen of Naboo.”

She smiled back. “I was just a princess then.”

“Indeed.”

She felt strangely at ease with this young man, and welcomed the distraction. He had not congragulated her on her pregnancy either, which was a relief.

“You look very handsome,” Rey blurted out, for the young man did not look simply like a solider. He was dressed much more nicely than that, with gold braid woven by his cuffs. He looked down at his attire and laughed.

“Well thank you. But I cannot take credit. I won this jacket off a lord. Lord Poe Dameron. He’s a friend of mine.”

“And mine as well!” Rey exclaimed. They exchanged funny stories about Poe and Jessika until Rey felt a hot stare on her neck. She turned and caught Ren and Lord Hux staring at her openly. Ren’s expression was angered and almost possessive, and Hux’s was sly as his mouth moved to whisper something in Ren’s ear.

Rey’s face grew warm, and she excused herself from Finn.

“Wait,” Finn said. “I’m stationed here for a while. Maybe you and I and the Damerons could play cards together one night?”

“Of course,” Rey murmured politely, her thoughts elsewhere. She slunk away from Finn and began climbing the stairs, past her husband and his crowd in order to retreat to an empty room somewhere close by. She suddenly had the urge to cry. Stupid hormones.

She fled down the empty hall lit only by a few candles and ducked into an empty room. She clapped a hand over her mouth to try and stifle herself—or rather, to stop herself from throwing up again. But she was shocked as a ghostly cold hand caught her arm and yanked it from her mouth.

She turned to look up into Ren’s face, his forehead wrinkled and brows drawn.

“Are you ill?” He demanded, and she checked herself for a moment, then shook her head.

“Why were you talking to that American rebel again?”

Now it was Rey’s turn to be angry.

“I speak to Poe at parties and in passing, but that does not bother you. Why does the American bother you?”

Ren shook his head, his bottom lip jutting out like a child’s. “You were laughing with him.”

She rolled her eyes. “You are truly intolerable,” she snapped, and pushed past him.

But he found her elbow and took it, causing her to stumble back into the dark, damask room. The heavy velvet curtains rustled with some unfelt breeze.

“Tell me again how you feel about me,” he ordered. “Say it to me again.”

Her lips parted and she lowered her lashes, blinking in confusion. His voice was rough and yet, there was some kind of vulnerability.

“I…I…” She wanted to say the words but they wouldn’t come.

He took her by the waist and pressed her front close to his tall, firm one. His thumbs stroked her stomacher, still made flat by her corset.

“Say it, Rey,” He said gently. Her breath caught and she looked up into his eyes with wonder, but found that despite his gentle tone, his eyes were angry.

She shook her head and looked away from him. Something swelled up inside her, a wave of desperate need. His hand came up to force her cheek to face him, and his thumb caressed his lips.

“How these lips lie to me,” he said. “Your husband.”

She did not reply, only refusing to look him in the eye. He touched her chin and tilted her head up, forcing her to look at him.

“My wife,” he said quietly. “Mine.”

He touched his lips to hers gently and then released her and walked out of the room, leaving her bewildered and alone in the darkness.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did y'all see the movie? Go Reylo! But I'm so conflicted...too many feelings. I won;t spoil it for you guys if you haven't seen it. Thanks so much for reading this silly smut! I appreciate it.

The rest of Christmas was a bleak affair. Rey and Ren presented the court with an assortment of gifts, and a cart full of food and supplies was sent to the nearest town as a sign of goodwill from the royal family to their country. But this was a futile gesture, for the people were already starving in the cold dead of winter and were highly resentful of the royals. But that was far from Rey’s mind.

Two of the coldest months of the year dragged on by. The snow was lovely and there was no end of entertainment, but she was not a part of it. She could not drink nor stay up so late, and she had no desire to join the festivities. For Ren was never a part of it.

She had suspected he had joined their little parties for her, and she found that she had been correct. He now kept to himself, building and tinkering in his workshop for hours on end instead of joining the parties. For the first time in their marriage, he chose to sleep in his own bedroom instead of hers, leaving the bed cold and empty. She mourned the loss of him but it steeled her—she had never relied on anyone for anything before. She couldn’t start now.

But this was difficult. The child inside her gave her a rather upset stomach, turbulent emotions, and a great desire for her husband. Her hand could not satisfy her on those cold winter nights, and her dreams were full of his heavy thrusts and the delicious fullness that nothing else could replicate.

But she could withstand it all. As she walked through the carpeted halls, dreaming of the day her child would be born and the warmth that would come with that day, she hummed tunes to her swelling stomach and felt satisfied with a child that would be hers. A real member of her family.

She took many walks around the palace for exercise, especially since she was forbidden to ride. Free of her corset, she felt an abundance of energy and tried to satisfy it in the most ladylike way possible. Luckily for her, the hoops of the previous fashion were going out of style in the countries around them. Instead, widely sashed loose gowns were coming in and Rey was so elated with them that she bought twelve of them. Her ladies scurried to copy her and she felt freedom of movement for the first time in years. Of course, women still wore their corsets, but her pregnancy had allowed her to roam without one.

She spent more time with her ladies and with Finn, who had become a frequent guest of the palace. They played cards and told stories with Jessika and Poe until Rey thought her sides would split. It was lovely to have friends to distract her from the loneliness she felt without Ren.

She was doing quite well with her exercise and trips to see plays and ballets until the fateful night that she awoke to the feeling of her husbands arms around her. It was pitch black except for the moonlight, and she could smell the spirits on his breath. She figured he must have gotten himself rather drunk, then accidentally returned to her bed instead of his own.

He had tugged her to him, which had allowed her to awaken on his broad, muscled chest. There was such a comfort in it though—he smelled so familiar, and she felt so warm and safe with his arms around her. It felt like ages since he had slept beside her. He was a stranger when she saw him in the hallway, fearing the worst about his comings and goings—was he being unfaithful?—but in her bed he was simply Ren, the man she loved in the back of her heart.

She fell into a deeper sleep than she had experienced her entire pregnancy.

She dreamed of a farm she once worked at as a child, the taste of fresh milk on her tongue. She dreamed of her child, laughing and scattering the chickens on their path. And on her arm, Ren, standing tall and not so pale underneath the summer sun.

But when she awoke she was painfully alone in the sun bright room on the linen sheets. Alone, except for her child, of course. She had to remind herself of that. She was never really alone.

Her dream and Ren’s mistake gave her the courage and the idea of a farm, a little place she could get away to without ever leaving Versailles.

She called for him at his little workshop and found him there, shirtless and covered in woodshavings.

“What is it, wife?” he said gruffly upon allowing her into his sanctuary.

She swallowed dryly and rested her hand on a table smooth with polish. “I have come to ask a favor of you,” she replied.

He glanced at her in a wolfish way before returning to sanding a wooden clock piece.

“And what is that?”

She lifted her chin, thinking fleetingly of the ways other women buttered their husbands up before asking them of something. But it had never been like that between her and Ren. They had always been direct with each other.

“I want a house. Built amidst the gardens. To be a little farm.”

Ren did not stop his motions of sanding, the muscles in his arms standing out. He did not reply.

“We could have fresh milk and cheese,” Rey continued, “And it would be a wonderful place just to hold private parties and relax and—”

“And to hide.”

She found his dark eyes gleaming at her. “Is that what you want? Can’t stand the thought of us under the same roof anymore?” He asked.

Her cheeks flushed with anger. “I never meant to imply such a thing. But I ache for a bit of simplicity and privacy, surely you can understand.”

He shrugged, the large shoulder gleaming with sweat. She found herself getting warm.

“After getting so drunk last night, I thought perhaps you’d understand my want to escape,” she said hotly, and his eyes flashed at her.

“Why does my drinking upset you so?” he asked, his hands stilling. “Before you were pregnant, you never seemed to mind yourself drinking.”

Rey remembered the hot, nasty smell of Plutt’s breath against her face after he’d emptied a bottle of whisky.

“Men change when they drink,” She said. “Women only get sillier. Besides, I mind you drinking if you intend to creep into my bed when you do it.”

Suddenly he was back in motion, sweeping the sandpaper over the wood in large, heavy strokes. “Forgive me,” he ground out. “Old habit.”

She wanted to lash back but held her tongue. Oh how she hated that she had to ask him for the money. But her allowance wasn’t enough to even begin to cover the cost.

“Please Ren,” she burst out. “I simply can’t spend the rest of my life cooped up here.”

He stopped again and looked at her, and she met his stare head on. He sighed and shook his head. She believed he meant no, but then he spoke.

“Whatever you wish, Rey. I will give you the money.”

She smiled proudly and widely without a care that it was for him. “Thank you,” She said. “I just—”

“But no men there without me present.”

She stopped her words with a shock. “Excuse me?”

He stood tall and tossed his head to his black hair wouldn’t fall into his eyes. “You heard what I said.”

“Ren, how can you be so jealous when you don’t even—” _love me?_ But she cut herself off.

“I am not jealous,” Ren snarled. “It is merely for propriety. People have been talking. Haven’t you heard? They notice we have fallen out of favor with each other and that you are spending all your time with that American soldier.”

Damn the court. This was exactly what she wanted to get away from!

“There’s nothing going on between him and I. We are just friends.”

Ren’s dark eyes scrutinized her and he came closer, treading slowly. “While you are off playing hide and seek and cards with your little soldier, do you forget whose child lies in your belly? Whose wife you are?” He grabbed her arm and showed her her own hand that brandished her wedding ring. “Does this mean nothing to you?”

She shook loose her hand and clenched it into a fist. “How dare you imply that I’ve been unfaithful when everyone knows that men with pregnant wives seek comfort in other beds!”

He looked as if she had struck him, but his astonishment went away quickly.

“Well you don’t have to worry about that,” he said coldly. “Did you think I lied when I said it would only be you?”

“Men lie, women lie, everyone lies!” Rey cried. “People tell you they love you, that they are coming back for you, but it’s never true!”

His expression softened, for he knew she was speaking of her parents. He reached for her. “Rey—”

“What?” She asked, on the verge of tears. “I will take your money and your stipulation. But don’t expect an invitation from me when it’s built!”

With that she turned and fled the room, her shoes on the cold stone floors clicking as her heels made contact. She tried to hold in her tears, but she couldn’t forget his words. Did he really mean that he would be faithful to her? Why would he be? And that expression, when she spoke of her parents—it was as if he really did care.

But she would not fall victim to him again, she decided. Even if he was faithful, even if he did care, it did not mean he loved her. She needed to be careful around him. Her heart felt like it was in pieces every time she spoke with him.

~

That night, she found herself unable to sleep. At first she had been kept up with the excitement of planning her new little farm. A place of her own. Finally, a real home. But quickly her thoughts turned to Ren and their conversation.

She remembered his gleaming shoulders and chest, the strong bands of muscle he had. She began to feel warm, and like many other nights, her hand crept between her legs. She closed her eyes and imagined her husband inside of her, touching her, just like he had before. She could never do this without thinking of him these days. Her body was betraying her. Luckily, it was only her shame to bear.

In her hot frustration with trying to satisfy herself, she ripped off her nightgown and threw it to the other side of the bed and turned onto her back. She tried reaching inside of herself, but her fingers did not fill her like she wanted. No. Needed.

Suddenly she heard the door creep open. She threw the covers over herself, but when she looked up and straight into Ren’s eyes, she knew he had seen her touching herself.

“Rey?” He said, his tone wary. He was in his nightclothes, carrying a single candle. She swallowed and tried to even out her heavy breathing.

“What is it?” She said crossly. “What are you doing here?”

His expression was unreadable as he approached the bed. The same bed they had shared many times. Rey drew back, just an inch.

Ren placed the candle on the night stand and stared down at her. Rey wanted to tell him to stop staring at her, but her mouth was bone dry.

“Have you been wanting for me, wife?” He asked slowly. Her breathing increased as he took the cover from her, pulling down the covers and revealing her shame. She tossed her head to the side and avoided his gaze.

Surely he saw the glistening apex of her, the brown curls shiny with wetness. Surely he saw how stiff the peaks of her breasts were just from his gaze.

“I think you have been wanting for me,” he said lowly. She could feel his eyes on her cheek, and it reddened with embarrassment.

He got on the bed and crawled over her, and she nearly cried out when the material of his shirt rubbed against her sensitive breasts. She still refused to look at him, even when he undressed in front of her. She hadn’t the strength to pull away, to slap him or deter him in any way. The most she could do was to stay silent and avoid looking at him while her body screamed out for him in the way her heart couldn’t.

He drew himself up and the very tip of his long, hard length parted her folds, stroking her. She did let out a soft whimper then, she couldn’t help it. It had been so long since her body had come alive like this.

“Yes,” Ren whispered, sounding exactly as she felt. He took himself in hand and stroked his hard red member until a glistening drop of precum appeared. He then stroked her inner folds with his member until she squirmed. Why, oh why didn’t he just fill her up already?

He let out a low groan and leaned forward on his hands as if to kiss her. But when she kept her head turned he hissed with anger.

“Will you not kiss me?” He asked, and she shook her head. He tried again and she turned her face to the other side vainly, trying so hard not to give in.

“No,” she said quietly, pleadingly. He breathed out an angry breath.

“No, I will not kiss you, or no, I will not fuck you?” He asked. “Because you seem to be at odds with yourself.”

When she did not answer he angrily dragged her legs forward, forcing her entrance to open right at his member.

“I will do it, Rey,” He threatened. “I will have you, but I must know you are willing.” He leaned forward.

She wanted him so badly. She wished a little that he had already done it. But he was not like that, as rough and hard as he was. He wouldn’t hurt her, or strike her.

A sudden thought came to her head. What if he had lied to her about being with other women? What if he had caught some disease from them? It could hurt the baby.

“Have you been faithful?” she said, finally turning her head to meet his eyes. “The baby—”

He groaned. “Yes, sweets. I told you, there is only you. I am clean.”

This soothed something in her and she let her head rest back against the mattress. He kissed her collar bone and then latched onto her throat, rocking his hips against her. Rubbing against her center. She keened and wrapped her legs around him and finally, finally he entered her with one long deft stroke.

“Oh!” She said, experiencing the fullness. He rocked back and forth into her, and she held his head to her shoulder. She didn’t want to look into his eyes, searching for the love that was never there. He mercilessly pumped into her, and she moaned out loudly. It was just what she needed.

He tried to pull back, but she wouldn’t let him. When he stopped thrusting just to pull away, she had to let him go, but closed her eyes instead. Angrily, he roared at this.

“You will not let me kiss you, you will not even look at me! Are you trying to picture someone else?”

She shook her head and he resumed his thrusts, but they were hard and punishing now.

“Say my name,” he said, his wide chest heaving with labored breaths. Her breasts shook with the bed as he banged it against the wall. “Say the name of your husband while he fucks you.”

She screwed her eyes shut. It was just a fuck. Just to satisfy her body. She wouldn’t see the anger, the hurt in his eyes. She wouldn’t let herself hope that he cared enough to love her.

“Rey!” He roared. “Say it!”

She gave a small sob as he began rubbing the front of her, flicking her nub in just the right way. She was so close. So close. His thrusts reached inside her and filled her in just the right spot, and she needed only a few…more…strokes!

“Ren!” She called out, her stomach muscles convulsing and tightening as she came, her upper body lifting itself off the mattress towards him. Her eyes flew open and she collapsed again amongst the pillows, completely spent and filled with pleasure.

At the sound of his name, he yelled hers and came inside of her, throbbing against her walls as ropes of cum were milked from him. He held himself just above her, panting, looking at her through hooded eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said quietly, and then leaned down to kiss her. But almost instinctively, she turned her face away from him.

She glanced back at his face and was stunned by his expression, the likes of which she had only seen the day his father died.

“Ren…”

“Don’t,” he said, recoiling from her. She was conflicted. How much she wanted to tell him the truth of the matter, simply put it out there. But if he knew, he would simply reject her again. And she couldn’t face that.

He shoved on his nightclothes and she sat up, almost reaching for him. She could feel his spend trickling down her leg, proof of their joining. Why would he stay faithful if he did not love her, she wondered. Why? His possessive nature, which seemed to be what kept him coming back to her?

He left abruptly, and she was left alone once more, wondering. She pressed a hand to her belly, glad to have their child to comfort her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the support, and Happy New Year! Please leave comments, they fuel the writer fire!

It was no dream. Now that her eyes were open, the signs were everywhere. The gold paint was peeling on the walls, the silverware tin instead of heavy silver. The staff was spread thin as well. The court was taking on more and more duties of the staff, for some considered it an honor to was the queen’s delicate shifts. Still, it was something Rey could not ignore.

She found Ren in his quarters one evening as he was getting ready for bed. His rooms were different than hers; dark and damask, the walls a striped grey and black and the curtains midnight blue. Rey had never been in this large, curtained bed before, and being alone with her husband made her want to. But no, she wasn’t here for that.

“Ren,” she said after being ignored upon entrance. His eyes looked to hers and his expression was unwelcoming.

“I know. About the money,” She said.

His dark eyes narrowed and the firelight, the only source of light in the chamber, cast shadows across his face. “Who told you?”

Rey felt irritation build inside her. “Who cares who told me! Why didn’t you tell me?”

He turned away and stripped off his shirt. His skin glowed ivory in the dim light. “You weren’t supposed to know.”

Rey marched over to him and grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to face her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He looked at her, and she felt that same electricity between them. Heat and _something_ passed between them, made her hair stand on end and her breathing shallow.

“What have you been keeping from me?” She whispered, wondering if what Leia had said was true. Could he love her?

He tore his gaze away from her and shrugged her off. “To put it simply, I was not allowed to tell you at first. And then, when I became king, I learned the true extent of it. But you and I…we were fighting, you seemed so upset, and I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“You just wanted me to be happy?” Rey asked. She thought of Ren, all alone with this weight on his back. “I could never be happy with such a burden placed on you.”

She looked down. “We are supposed to be a team,” she mumbled, glancing up to see his pleading eyes.

“How can we be if you despise me so?” Ren asked bitterly.

“What makes you think I despise you?” Rey blurted out. If only he knew it was the opposite.

He looked embarrassed. “When we were…together…you wouldn’t look at me. You wouldn’t let me kiss you.”

“That was something else entirely,” Rey argued.

“How am I supposed to trust you if you keep secrets from me?” He asked. “You are pregnant with my child, but still we cannot seem to make this work.”

He looked miserable and as he sat down on the edge of the bed, he buried his head in his hands. Then he was still and silent.

Rey went to him and placed a hand on his hot, bare skin. “Ren,” she whispered. “I can explain. But you have to answer a question for me. Honestly.”

He slowly looked up at her, his expression guarded. “What?”

She took a deep breath. “Do you love me?”

He stared at her, and for a moment she forgot everything. They were just two people, together and yet apart. Neither king nor queen, she was just Rey and he, Ren. A woman waiting for an answer and a man afraid to give it. Both were unyielding, but their walls had banged together against each others and were now weakened and disintegrating into dirt.

He looked down, his eyes lowered. “Against all good sense, against everything…yes. Gods, yes. I love you.”

She inhaled sharply and her hands fluttered to her mouth. His eyes quickly took in her shock and found imagined rejection there.

Angrily, he continued: “And you have taken my love and stepped on it. Forsaken it. All but destroyed it. And now you come to me, in your thin shift, looking like one of my dreams, and you ask me if I love you. You know I do, I told you the first time we made love. I could accept unrequited love, but this is too much. How much do you want me to endure before I break?”

Her heart was in her throat, and for one terrible moment she could not speak. Then finally she could take a breath.

“Ren, you’ve completely misunderstood,” she said hurriedly. “I’ve cared for you for so long, and I never heard you say you loved me. Never. I thought…you could not love me, like you said. I tried to withdraw from you, hoping it would not hurt as much…but it did. I’ve been longing for you so much, and when you came to me that night that you last made love to me, I was fighting against every fiber of my being not to kiss you and tell you how I felt. I knew that if I looked at you, kissed you, it would be over. That is why I acted how I did. Not out of hate, but out of love.”

He was looking at her like she had caught the sun and presented it to him. His mouth was open, his wide eyes gleamed with unshed wetness.

“And here I’ve been, longing for you as well,” Ren said quietly. “We are both stubborn fools. I came to you that night, ready to try again and tell you once more that I loved you, but I got so caught up in being with you that I never said what I came to say. If you truly do feel that way about me…will you tell me Rey? I need to hear it.”

Seeing him so vulnerable made him seem much younger than twenty-nine. He looked like a boy with large brown eyes and shaggy black hair. It made Rey’s heart ache.

“Yes, oh yes. I love you, Ren. I have for so long.” She went to him then, flew into his arms. He caught her easily without budging and held her closely and tightly against him. She had never felt so safe, so wanted. It was like a dream come true as she felt him rain kisses down on her head, felt the warmth of his skin on her. She heaved out a heavy, tearless sob, and he gently tilted her back so he could kiss her brow.

“I love you too, Rey. I think I always have, even when I told you I could not love. I was so afraid then, of letting someone in…”

“Oh, don’t ever let me go,” she murmured. “Promise that you’ll never tire of me and discard me.”

He let her go and looked at her sternly. “Is that what you are afraid of? Rey, even when we fought I never strayed. You are the only woman I want. No one holds a candle to you, my darling.”

She clung to him, buried her face in his shoulder. “I want to believe you,” she said.

“Try,” he pled. “I will prove it to you every day, and there will come a time when you will no longer fear.”

“You will be patient with me?” she asked.

“Only if you are just as patient with me,” he replied. “I am not a good man, Rey. I’ve killed, I have a ruined country on my hands, and I seem to make all the wrong choices.”

“You chose to marry me,” Rey pointed out.

“And weren’t we lucky you couldn’t say no?” He replied teasingly.

She grew solemn then, and at first he thought he had said something wrong.

“I feel like we were meant for each other,” Rey said. “All I wanted was to escape from Jakku when I was sent here. I never thought I’d find someone I could love. And even more so, someone who would love me. No one has ever loved me.”

He gathered her up in his arms and firmly pressed his lips to her temple.

“I’m sorry I ever told you that I couldn’t love. We could have avoided so much pain. I never wanted to hurt you, Rey.”

She looked up at him, tilting her head back so that her long brown hair spilled down her back in soft waves. “I know, Ren. I never wanted to hurt you either.”

He smiled down at her and leaned down to kiss her. Immediately there was heat and excitement fluttering around her belly. He loved her. He loved her! And she loved him.

Ren cupped her face in his hands and separated them. “Have I told you how magnificent you look?” he asked. 

She screwed up her face and batted him away. “Don’t be silly. I’ve gotten to be as big as a whale.”

He slid his hands down to her waist, which had thickened considerably since she had gotten pregnant. “You’re even more beautiful pregnant. You glow, you look healthy, and best of all you are carrying my child. How could I resist you?”

Her cheeks burned at his words. “You’re just saying that because you’ve missed me,” she shot back. But he was not deterred, only leaning down to kiss away her words.

“Let me prove it to you,” he murmured. “Let me make love to you.”

A sweet curl of pleasure shot through her at his words. She had _missed_ him, and the last time they had been together hadn’t been as half as good as it could have been. She was scared for their future and terribly relieved that he loved her. All she wanted was him close to her.

“Yes,” she whispered, looking up at him through her dark lashes. “Please.”

He grinned and lifted her easily onto the bed, sitting her delicately down. He stripped her of her nightgown and she laid back onto the bed, her legs still dangling off the bed. Her belly made a large hill between her and him, so she did not see him once he knelt down between her legs. Then she felt something warm and wet lick a long stripe on her apex. She moaned out loudly because it felt so good and kept doing so as he swirled his tongue in circles around her bud. He flicked it with his tongue and she shrieked.

“Oh, Ren, please please please!” She cried out. He placed a wet kiss to her pussy and then lifted his head from her.

“Please what?” He asked, and she strained her head to see him. His pink, plush lips were dripping wet and formed a devilish smile. His dark eyes bored into hers and she sighed with adoration and need.

“Please don’t stop,” she panted. He disappeared beyond the rise of her belly and the beautiful licking returned. He put his lips down and sucked and she groaned as her pleasure began to mount. He slipped a finger inside her and she gasped as he crooked it inside her. With only that, she came with a gush of fluid, her whole body sensitive from the orgasm.

His lips left her again with a lewd wet sound. He tore his pants off and climbed over her on the bed to give her a long, sweet kiss. She tasted herself on his tongue but did not mind. She only minded that he was not inside her that very second.

“Ren,” she panted. “Now.”

The look he gave her was concerning, and the next minute he was on her side, only holding her close.

She wriggled against him and looked up at him, her hazel eyes confused. “What?”

He kissed her chastely and ran his palm over her side and stomach. “We need to go a little slower, that’s all. I’ve been too rough with you every time before, and it doesn’t have to be like that.”

She cocked her head and frowned. “Maybe I want that.”

He smiled, amused. “Well I beseech you to go slow with me just once to see if you like it.”

Ren was too handsome and too persuasive with his dark, captivating eyes. She nodded.

He ducked down to kiss her throat and she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. Although she still wished he was inside her, it was nice just to lay back and enjoy Ren’s attention. His hands were nice on her breasts, which had grown larger and sore. But Ren was gentle, and it felt good. One of his hands crept down to plunge inside her, which made her gasp.

“Sensitive!” She said, and he gentled his motions.

“You’re still so tight, Rey.”

“Ah, just wait until the baby comes,” Rey replied.

He drew back from her neck and stroked her hair, which was spread all over the pillow. “It won’t matter to me,” he promised. “I love you.”

She looked into his eyes, which were soft. “I love you too.”

He hovered over her, his member brushing against her enticingly. She pressed her lips against his and felt that spark again. He really was the one for her.

He pushed inside her slowly, thrusting very shallowly. She squirmed with want until he soothingly brushed his thumbs against her held hips. _Trust me,_ he seemed to say. So she sank into the mattress, relaxing, and he pushed himself in all the way to the hilt.

Ren hesitated then, letting Rey fully experience the fullness inside her. It felt so good to have those muscles strained and stretched. He was hot with desire and she carefully locked her legs around his hips in order to bring him closer. He was entirely inside her as he leaned forward and nuzzled her nose before giving her a sweet, slow kiss filled with desire. She kissed him back and felt such relief at being able to kiss him and do what she wanted. She felt utterly assured that he loved her.

He drew himself out and she whined, twisting her head as he dragged his cock slowly across the sensitive nerve endings inside her. He shushed her gently as he plunged back inside her. She grabbed a handful of his dark, soft hair and pulled him to her for another long kiss. He thrust hard but slow, and impatiently she moved her lips to his neck and placed hot kisses there, nipping and sucking as well. He groaned out as she clenched around him purposefully, and his eyes were wild when she looked to him, separating herself from his neck.

“More,” she whispered. “Please, Ren.”

He pressed his lips to hers with a surprising degree of force, and slid his hand beneath her bottom before lifting her up with him to a sitting position. She was perched up on his lap and he smiled smugly as she whimpered and moved her hips desperately against his.

“Do you want more?” He asked. “Then work for it.”

She huffed and tightened her grip on his neck. She pushed herself up and then down on his length, and his eager breath made her smile at him as she twisted her hips a little. He smiled back down at her before smacking her creamy bottom, urging her on. She jumped a bit, and he grinned mischievously. He slid his hands from her red bottom to her hips, helping her move up and down.

“Ren,” she breathed. “I can’t go on much longer.” For she could not stand it—she was grinding her clit against his length and there was the sweet way he was suckling at her neck. He had drawn her out, had plucked at her strings perfectly while making love to her, and she had never felt more safe, more loved. She wanted nothing more than to come apart in his arms, around him, and to feel his pleasure shoot through her.

“Come, Rey,” he murmured. “Come, my darling.”

Pressed against him, she came with a cry and he followed her after a few pumps. He throbbed inside of her and clutched her close. She closed her eyes and collapsed against him. Ren stroked her back and kissed her forehead as she rode her orgasm out, shaking a little in his arms. He laid her down after a moment and cuddled her after pulling himself from her. She kept her arms wound around him and kissed and kissed him again and again.

“Tell me you love me,” he said quietly, looking much younger than his twenty-nine years.

“I love you, Ren,” she sighed. “I love you so much.”

He buried his face into the crook of her neck. “I love you too. Always.”

For a while they simply laid in silence, enjoying each others company after being denied for so long. He ran his hand along the swell of her stomach and she smiled at him.

“Soon we shall have another person to love,” He said.

“I already do,” Rey replied. “Boy or girl, it will be ours. Can you believe it?”

He shook his head. “A child,” he said, his voice full of wonder. “The best of both of us.”

She kissed him. “Indeed.”

He looked at her with a faint smile, brushing his fingers along her cheek. “I love you the most like this. No makeup, no corset. Free and beautiful.”

She snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes, ignoring the way her cheeks flared pink at his compliment. He kissed the pink cheek, his curved lips smiling against them.

“Ren, what are we going to do about the money?” She asked.

He leaned back, his eyes searching hers. “I don’t know, Rey. I feel like I’ve tried everything.”

She ran a soothing hand over his bare back. “We’ll figure it out together,” she promised.

Something in his face untensed, and he relaxed back against the pillow. She leaned against his arm and together, they drifted into sleep amongst the dark curtains of his bed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo Im sorry for a) taking so long and b) that this is so sad and non-smutty. But completely necessary! Trust me. And trust me when I say that no one gets their head chopped off in this fic. I promise next chapter will be better, longer, smuttier, and all that jazz. Special thanks to Reylocalligraphy and Jediknightress for encouraging me to continue this story. I honestly wasn't sure I was going to finish it. But we are back on track, and I am set and determined to finish it!

Their child was born on a late spring day. As per protocol, hundreds of people gathered into Rey’s bedroom to witness the birth of the first royal child. For hours, Rey was forced to lay on her bed with hundreds of eyes looking at her. It was her worst nightmare.

Her only consolation was Ren, who held her hand the entire time and ordered the windows to be opened so Rey might get a slight breeze in the hot, crowded room. He knew she was horribly embarrassed and sought to angle himself time after time so that she was not completely exposed to the room, and she appreciated that. The pain was terrible, ripping her apart until finally their daughter slipped into the world with a loud, piercing cry.

A sigh went up as her gender was revealed, but Rey was overjoyed. A beautiful little girl with a dark shock of hair just like her father’s. As Rey was allowed to hold her daughter for the first time, Ren stood close by and stroked the soft, downy hair on their daughter’s head.

“Are you disappointed she is not a son?” Rey asked quietly, but Ren shook his head with a rare smile.

“A son would have belonged to the country. This little girl belongs to only us,” he replied. Rey beamed up at him and then down at their child, who was finally opening her squinted eyes.

“Oh, look!” Rey said as she caught a flash of hazel. Ren leaned over to see and stroked her soft little cheek.

“She has a bit of both of us, I see,” Ren said proudly. “We must thank god for such a precious miracle.”

“Indeed,” Rey murmured, but she was thinking more about her daughter’s future. How could they let her inherit a destitute country?

The crowd was dispersed and both Rey and the baby were left to sleep. That night, Ren came in early to coo over his child before getting into bed next to Rey.

“What shall we name her?” He asked, and Rey was relieved that he sought her opinion.

“I was thinking Padme, after your grandmother,” She said shyly. “I never knew any of my relatives, but Leia speaks so highly of Padme…”

“I think it’s perfect,” Ren replied, kissing Rey sweetly. “Padme Reyla, after you too, my darling.”

Rey agreed to this and let Ren hold her close and snuggle her properly. It felt so good to just be alone in his arms with him and their child nearby. Rey insisted on nursing the child herself, to the court’s shock.

“Ren,” Rey whispered. “We must fix the country before Padme ever comes to rule. She can’t inherit our mistakes.”

“I know,” Ren replied. “I was thinking the same thing. I think we need to bring in my mother for a job like this.”

Rey tilted her head up to see his face. “Really, Ren? You’ll work with her?”

He nodded grimly. “It’s high time I forgave her for any mistake she made, for they were made out of love. Now that we have Padme, I realize that I would do anything for her, to be there for her. My mother was only doing the same for me.”

Rey clutched Ren close and kissed his cheek. “I’m so glad,” she said. “You both deserve to be happy. Promise me you’ll tell her what you’ve told me.”

Ren sighed. “I will,” he said. “I promise.”

~

The day after his daughter’s birth, Ren went to his mother for help. He told her all about Snoke, and how his predecessor had twisted his mind, causing him to shun his parents. He told his mother all about how hard he tried for his father, and Leia wept. But to Ren’s surprise, they were happy tears, and she agreed to help him try and restructure the finances.

With Leia’s assistance, all the jewels in the treasury were sold. Rey didn’t mind—she cared only for her little daughter these days. Padme grew fast, and was an extremely healthy and sweet baby who slept in a bassinet near her parents bed every night, for they could not bear to part with her. Some of Rey’s old gowns were also auctioned off instead of given to the courtiers to help raise money for the country. The courtiers grumbled and were shocked by such an indelicate action that exposed their debts to the world. Many left the palace. Both ren and Rey said good riddance to them.

But still it was not enough. Unrest rose, and there were several demonstrations and rallies held by the people in order to protest. Leia worked hard on economizing the palace to become a less expensive place, and Ren followed all her wise instructions. Except for one.

“Darling,” he said to Rey one evening as they picnicked by the river with their daughter asleep in a basket nearby. “How do you feel about selling your jewelry from your trousseau?”

Rey looked up in surprise. “I thought you had already sold it with the rest,” she admitted.

Ren leaned forward and took her hands in his. “Of course not. Those are yours, from Jakku. I only sold what was in the treasury.”

Rey tilted her head. “Well, sell them. Anything for our country, and Padme’s future.”

He grinned and squeezed her hands. “Well, it’s not for that. I think we can spare a few jewels…in order to finish your little farm house.”

Rey gasped. “Ren! You wouldn’t.”

His smile grew proud. “Why not? If we have a farm, Padme can have fresh milk and eggs with her breakfast. And you’ve been looking terribly tired lately—I want you to have a place you can go and relax in.”

Rey smiled shyly. “That’s very sweet, Ren. But it’s not necessary.”

Ren kissed her hand and then squeezed it. “I know. But it’s settled. I will finish your chateau. It will cost us nothing.”

But he was wrong. The people, upon hearing that such an expense had been permitted, raged. The day the little house was completed and furnished, the people in the next village all began the ten mile march to the palace.

Rey had been sleeping in Ren’s arms when the shouting woke her. Immediately she reached for her baby, who smiled gummily at her when she was woken up. Ren, sensing her gone, woke up as well.

“What is it?” Rey asked, tucking the baby beneath her chin. Ren went to the curtains and peeked outside.

“It’s a crowd,” he replied. “Protesters.” He went to pull on his pants and tuck in his shift. Rey shivered in her nightgown and the door burst open.

“Your highness,” gasped the servant, “They are demanding bread.”

“Well give it to them,” Ren ordered. “Give them all the food in the larder if it will make them happy.”

The servant girl’s eyes filled with tears. “We have. But there are too many of them. Only a few left satisfied.”

“Then have the soldiers push them back to the gate. How did they get in anyhow?”

“They were let in, your majesty. Only a few good soldiers are left, and they are doing all they can to control the crowd.”

Rey went to the door to the balcony and peered out through the velvet curtains. Past the crowd she could see her little farm house, serene and sweet in the moonlight. She knew in her heart it had been what had caused this.

“Ren, we have to do something,” she said, going to her husband. He put his arm around her and drew her close.

“You need to leave here,” he said. “You and Padme and Leia. Poe has a carriage that can take you away safely.”

“And abandon you here?” Rey said incredulously. “Never! I am your wife. You are my partner. I wil stand by your side.”

Ren gazed at her fiercely, clearly torn by his love for her. Outside, the chants began to manifest into one coherent statement: WE WANT THE QUEEN. He swallowed nervously.

Rey turned her head slowly to the window as the servant girl stood before them, twisting her apron in her hands. Wordlessly, Rey handed the sleeping baby to Ren and headed for the balcony.

“Rey!” Ren ordered. “Stop.”

She turned to him, and even in the darkness her eyes glowed green. “No Ren. I must do this. It’s me they want. I shall, for once, give the people what they want.”

With that she pushed the doors open, and the crowd roared. The noise was twice, three times as loud as it had been inside. Ren shuddered and held little Padme to his chest as he watched Rey, clad in only her nightgown and dressing gown with her long brown hair streaming down her shoulders, approach the crowd.

She stood before them, looking out on the huge group of angry people. They held pitchforks and torches, and there was nary a kind face among them. She was struck by the vision of her ride through the villages on her way to the palace that first time, and how curious they had been. But now their stares were no longer curious. They were angry and demanding. She had failed them, and she was truly sorry. She had been so wrapped up in her own turmoil that she had failed to help her own country. How long had she been so selfish and caught up in the glamor and chaos of the court? Once, she had been one of them: hungry, hard, and desperate. Who was she now?

Slowly, she dipped her head, then her shoulders, down down to the balcony itself. She bowed to the crowd to show her remorse, her shame, her ignorance. She did not ask for forgiveness.

The crowd fell silent. Behind her, Ren clutched at his daughter and held his breath. Then there was a roar of what seemed to be approval, and then just as suddenly as they had came, they all started to leave. Rey rose from her position shakily and watched them for the next hour as they all trickled out of the gates, leaving behind nothing but footprints on the trampled green spring grass.

Finally, she came inside. Ren rushed to kiss her and hold her close. She trembled, but he had never seen such strength.

They kissed Jessika and Poe goodbye that night, along with a few other courtier friends who had stayed on. The palace was almost empty then. The next day, Rey went on a walk with Padme to see her farm house only to find it ransacked and ruined. But she didn’t let herself cry over her spoiled luxury. She merely raised her chin and turned back to the palace.

That night, Ren tried to convince her to go again.

“I won’t have you and Padme in danger,” he said as they laid in bed, arms around each other.

“I won’t leave you here,” Rey whispered. “If anything happened to you, I don’t…I don’t know how I could go on, Ren.”

“Hush,” Ren said. “You would live through it. But I could never bear to see you taken prisoner or locked up. You must go, for Padme’s safety.”

“Then come with us,” Rey begged, pushing her face into Ben’s neck. But he shook his head.

“I cannot. I must remain here. A good king would never just abandon his country.”

“And neither would a good queen.”

He had no response to that, so instead, he kissed her. It was a hard and desperate kiss, full of fear. Rey’s returning kiss was just as fearful, and they clutched each other throughout the night like they were each other’s last hope.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, but there isn't much left before the epilogue, which will be next chapter! Thank you for the continued support and comments, it means the world to me. I am very sad to see this little fic end.

Leia wouldn’t leave either. The four of them, the last of the Solos, clung to the old ways as much as they could.

They lost so many servants that Rey now dressed herself. She took little Padme everywhere with her, so the loss of her governess was no loss at all. But they still ate at 8 o’clock sharp every morning. Rey still took her walks around the gardens. But there was no one to chat with, and she had to take loyal guards with her.

As much as they tried to ignore it, things were changing.

It was a rare night when they were not visited by protesters. Rey held her breath every time the sun set, straining to see against the window for the torch lights. Ren tried to draw her away from the window every night, but Rey wouldn’t go to bed until she was sure they were safe. If the protestors came, she held Padme all night long, and Ren would hold them both.

There was nothing left to sell without tearing the palace apart. Ren spent his time writing letter after letter to every monarch they knew, every cousin they had to try and gain support. He was no longer afraid of appearances. They got a few offers of asylum, but every other country feared revolution itself and were unwilling to offer aid.

Finally, one rare, peaceful night, Ren whispered the words to Rey that she dreaded to hear.

“I think I should step down.”

She sucked in her breath. She glanced over at the bassinet by their bed where Padme, now a thriving toddler, lay asleep.

“What about Padme?” Rey whispered. “She will be taken from us if you abdicate in favor of her.”

Ren shook his head. “I don’t mean abdicating in favor of Padme. She’s just a baby. And I would never let her be taken from us like I was taken from my family. I mean stepping down in favor of the revolutionary leaders—ending this monarchy once and for all.”

Rey gasped then. “But…But Ren, we can’t just give up! Surely someone will come to our aid—”

“No,” he said quietly. “There is no one.”

Rey grew silent, her pink lips closing. She bit her lip and turned away from Ren to hide her tears.

“Sweetheart, don’t cry.”

She shook her head. “I’m not crying,” she lied. But Ren knew her better and pulled her to his chest.

“Hush now. Things will be alright.”

“How can we if we have to leave our home? Give up everything? What will happen to us?”

Ren kissed the top of her head. “We will have to leave the country. Soon. The riots…they are getting worse.”

Rey nodded. She knew this. She tried to keep herself updated now on the political situation. She didn’t want to be ignorant, not anymore.

“Oh Ren…we will have nothing for Padme,” Rey whispered.

Ren sighed. “I will find work once we are settled. I will work hard to provide for our family.”

“If we can make it out,” Rey murmured, and an uneasy silence fell between them.

If they were caught sneaking out of the country, they’d be hanged. Or worse, guillotined. Padme would be taken from them. The revolutionaries would imprison them before holding false trials. Rey couldn’t imagine the horror of having her child taken from her. For once, she wished they had not had those half silver coins minted with her and Ren’s profiles. It would be hard to sneak out when everyone knew what they looked like.

Rey shuddered and pressed herself closer to Ren, whose hands slid underneath her nightgown to touch her bare back. Rey looked up at him and saw the desperation in his eyes. The fear.

She pressed her lips to his feverishly, and he responded back just as hungrily. She tore off his breeches and night shirt, and her shift was gone in a moment. Ren hushed her when she began to moan, nodding to the bassinet.

“We must be quiet,” he said.

So Rey bit her lip as he pushed her knees apart and kneeled between her legs. He licked and suckled gently as her bud, bringing her to orgasm quickly, the pleasure washing over her. But her core ached when it was over, and she brought him back up to kiss him. He tasted of her, a little sweet, a little musky. She did not mind. But she wrapped her legs around him, urging him silently.

“Tell me you love me,” he begged as he eased into her in one smooth stroke. “Tell me, Rey.”

“I love you,” she gasped, grabbing his buttocks to bring him deeper inside her. “Oh, Ren.”

He pressed kiss after kiss to her neck and breasts. “Tell me we will never be parted.”

“Never,” she vowed, digging her nails into his thick shoulders. “Don’t ever leave me.”

“I promise, sweetheart,” he murmured, his thrusts picking up. She felt like her loins were on fire, he felt so hot and hard and good inside of her. She was slick and swollen, aching for him every time he pulled out.

“More, more, more,” she whispered, and he pushed her weak knees up to drape over his shoulders, forcing her bottom up. He sunk even deeper inside her.

“Going to give you another baby,” he whispered. “Going to make you cum all over my cock.”

She moaned quietly, and he shot her a warning glance.

“Don’t make me quiet you,” he cautioned, but she felt like she couldn’t help it. The thought of carrying his child again was lovely—a boy this time, perhaps. As he made love to her so well, knowing exactly what spot to hit and how to touch her right, she hoped she did become pregnant. Further evidence of their love. A bigger family. Another child to adore. It was all she really wanted, she realized. She didn’t need this old life or a large palace. If she had Ren, and their children, surely things would be ok.

“Love you,” Rey whispered, her head falling back against the stark white down pillow. “Love you so much.”

His thrusts slowed so he could lean forward to kiss her. “I love you too,” he murmured as he pulled back, resuming his thrusts. He set a hard pace, and she lifted her hips as much as she could in order to truly let him slide along her cervix, where he felt so good. As his thrusts became more erratic, she knew he was close.

She closed her eyes and focused on what she was feeling. Then she opened them and locked eyes with Ren, who looked divine. His eyes were lidded, his plush lips panting. A sheen of sweat covered his pale muscles, and Rey bit her lip as she came, her insides pulsing and clenching hard at the sight of her husband’s cock going in and out of her. He thrust once, twice, then stilled, bottoming out inside of her. He lingered there even though she could see his muscles trembling. To further keep his cum inside, she guessed. He kissed her lightly, and she sighed, relaxing fully beneath him.

When he finally withdrew, he did not move away. He carefully laid down on her, his head resting on her chest. There were no servants who would come and find them this way, and together, they felt peaceful for once. Rey fell asleep with her hands threaded through his black hair, cradling it as he laid so close to her.

~

It was two days later that they packed up their things in secret. Only the most trusted of maids and guards remained, but still they were not told. Rey packed only a few of her simplest gowns, remembering how silly she was at the beginning of her marriage. Now she did not care what she wore—whether it was in fashion or not. She liked the freer gowns that allowed her to breastfeed Padme. Ren liked to watch as she did it sometimes.

Today she wore a sheer green gown without bows or ribbons, the only extravagance the richness of the fabric. Her shift beneath was quite worn—she didn’t have many left. All her silk stockings were gone, stolen by staff or unwearable. So she went without.

There wasn’t much else to pack except for Padme’s small gowns, which there were many that had been made at the time of her birth. It had been custom for each member of the court to give the child a gift, and many of the women chose luxurious little outfits. Even as the poorest princess, Padme still looked the best. Rey packed blankets and as many candles as she could find. A small portrait of Jessika and Poe, and another of her and Ren done at the time of their first meeting. The silver hairbrush set Ren had given to her as a gift went into the shabby trunk, as well as an ornamental comb she had worn at their wedding. And that was that. Everything she owned fit in one trunk. Once she had had more jewelry, more gowns than she could count. But it did not truly seem like a loss to her. Not anymore.

Ren had even less to pack in his trunk, so they packed provisions and a few other practical things in his. The last of their money went into his pocket, and the last of the jewels—Rey’s engagement ring, Han’s pocket watch, and a single diamond necklace—went into the wrap around Padme.

It was a lovely spring morning when they left. Padme was still asleep, and the sun had not peeked its head over the horizon just yet. In the borrowed carriage, Ren held her hand very tightly as they left. Padme slept on in the crook of Rey’s other arm. Leia sat across from them, dressed even simpler than Rey. Rey leaned against Ren, but then sat up to look out of the small window as they left the palace behind.

It glowed cream and gold in the sunrise. The leaves of the orangery shone bright green with fresh dew. Rey spotted the balcony she had stood on that one terrible night before, and she pressed her fingers to the glass of the carriage window.

“What is it?” Ren asked, frowning. He was tight with nerves. But for some reason, Rey felt perfectly calm.

“I’m just saying goodbye,” she said quietly.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bleh. I finally finished this! Im not very happy with the ending, but it'll have to do--yall have waited long enough. I hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think, and dont forget to say hi to me at alicecantescape over on tumblr! Thanks so much for the continued support.

 

**One year later**

Rey felt the thin mattress shift beneath her, and then lips brushed her forehead. She blearily blinked and then smiled as the face of her husband came into view.

“Good morning,” Ren said. His black hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, and his eyes smiled at hers.

“Morning,” Rey replied, pulling him down for a kiss. But he did not deepen the kiss as he usually did, for there was not much time. He had to wash and dress and head up to the main house, where he tutored the children of the Endorian royal family.

“How are you?” Ren asked her quickly as he dressed.

“Fine,” Rey replied, stretching. A glance over to the bassinet showed their son, Ben, still sleeping. Padme, in the trundle bed, was also asleep.

As Ren dug in his closet for a tie for his cravat, Rey heard Leia humming in the next room, already awake and ready for the day. Then there was a thunk as one of Ben’s books fell to the floor.

Rey smiled and picked it up, dusting it off and handing it to Ren.

“Remember how you scoffed when I told you you’d make a good teacher?” she asked, and Ren smiled.

“I remember.”

She sidled up to him and wrapped her arms around him. “Do you remember the day we came here?” she asked quietly, and his expression grew serious.

“Yes,” he replied. “I remember that too.”

After they had escaped the palace that morning, they had eventually come to the border. But they had been stopped to be searched by the revolutionary army.

As they were waiting for the commander, Rey realized she recognized the soldier who had stopped him. It was Finn, the soldier from America. No wonder they had been recognized!

“Ren,” Rey said hurriedly, passing Leia the baby. “I know that man. It’s the soldier from America.”

Ren frowned. “So we have been recognized?”

She nodded.

“Can he be bribed? The diamond necklace—”

“Is for our start in Endor,” Rey replied. “Let me talk to him.”

Ren looked worried and squeezed her hand before she turned to the window, opening it.

“Finn!” She called, and the soldier stiffened. “Finn!”

Finally he came near, walking slowly to her side of the carriage. His dark brows were together, his hand stuck in his pocket casually.

“Yes?” He said carefully.

Rey leaned out the window. “What are you doing here? I thought you went back to America.”

“I should ask you the same question,” he said stiffly. “You shouldn’t be here, your highness.”

Rey sighed. “Finn, we were good friends once. We played cards. I went to your and Rose’s wedding.”

Surprisingly, Finn smiled. “Rose is pregnant with our first child.”

Rey smiled back. “Blessings to you both,” she said kindly. “I too have had my child.”

Finn shifted from foot to foot. “Can I see her?” He asked.

“Of course,” Rey said nervously. She didn’t know how much time she had before the commander arrived. But she had to somehow convince Finn to let them go.

Leia handed Padme over to Rey, and Rey stepped out of the carriage. Finn came over and smiled at the baby.

“She’s beautiful,” he said, and his voice was warm. Rey looked at her child, who blinked dreamily up at her in the bright sunlight. She felt her throat go thick.

“She’s my world,” Rey said honestly, and Finn glanced up at her, his eyes serious.

For a moment, there was silence. But then Finn stepped back.

“Get back in your carriage, Rey,” he said firmly, and her eyes widened.

“What?”

“Go. You need to leave here.”

“You mean…?”

Finn’s brown eyes met hers. “Go.”

Rey swallowed hard, and turned away. But then she dug into Padme’s wrap and pulled out the small diamond engagement ring Ren had given to her. She held it out to Finn.

“Here,” she said. “For your family. For your child.”

Finn smiled and then took the ring from her. “Thank you,” he said, and Rey smiled back.

She climbed back into the carriage and it lurched forward as it started. Ren turned to her.

“He had to be bribed?” He guessed, and she shook her head.

“No…I just was repaying him for his kindness. He let us go on his own.”

Ren sighed, relieved. “But your ring…”

Rey shrugged. “No offense, but I don’t need it to remember how we fell in love. Our marriage was not the beginning of our love.”

Ren nodded thoughtfully, then kissed Rey’s cheek. “I love you,” he said softly.

“I know,” she said, and caught Leia’s eye. Both women smiled at each other.

~

The Endorian family received them with grace, having known Leia for years. Ren was very humble and grateful to the family, thanking them for their aid. They stayed in the palace for a while simply as guests, but it didn’t feel right. As the months rolled around, Rey pulled Ren aside one night after dinner so they could be alone.

“What is it sweetheart?” Ren asked, worried. “Is something wrong?”

Rey shook her head and made sure to close the door behind them. “Nothing is wrong. We just can’t stay here much longer.”

“Why?”

She smiled up at him, taking his larger hands into hers. “Our family is getting bigger, Ren. I’m pregnant.”

Ren sucked in a breath then clutched her to his chest, muffling his whoop of joy into her skin. “Oh my love. Oh, god.”

Rey beamed at him before he kissed her deeply. He pulled away quicker than she wanted, leaving her desiring him.

“You’re right,” Ren said sharply. “We need to move forward. Be settled.”

Rey nodded. “We have the diamond necklace…” she suggested, and he shrugged.

“Let me talk to my mother and the Endorians. We’ll figure something out.”

They kissed once more, and he brushed her hair back. “I’m so happy, Rey,” he said. “You and Padme and this new child…You all make me so happy.”

~

The Endorian family gifted them a little house on the property, a house with two bedrooms and two other rooms. It was small, unextravagant, but it was clean and it was theirs. Ren refused to let it be a gift, instead paying for it through their last diamond necklace. It reminded Rey a lot of the little house Ren had built her at Versailles. It had well swept wooden floors that shone golden in the evening light, and stone walls that kept in the warmth of their fire well.

They had very little to move in, instead letting Padme toddle around the clear floors. Her eyes were bright and sparkling as she cooed and babbled, as if she knew they were finally in a home of their own. Leia settled into the other bedroom and offered to share the room with Padme, but Rey gently refused her. She wanted her daughter near her. She wanted to be there for every nightmare and every drink of water. She was done having other people care for her child.

As they watched the sun go down through the wide kitchen window, Kylo took Rey’s hand.

“We have a lot to learn,” he said. “Do you know how to make bread?”

Rey shook her head. She knew how to pick through garbage and ride horses, how to play cards and be dressed by other people. But she didn’t know how to cook or bake.

“Luckily I kind of know how to sew,” she volunteered, and Ren laughed softly.

“I think embroidery is a bit different than patching a hole,” he said. Rey frowned and tossed her head.

“Well, we’ll see about that!” she said. They couldn’t be that different.

Ren sighed. “I need to get a job. Learn a skill. To provide for our family.”

Rey hummed thoughtfully. “You should work in the stables, or as a locksmith. You’re also equipped to be a good teacher since you had a good education.”

“I don’t have the patience to be a teacher, Rey.”

Rey lifted a slender eyebrow at him. “You never know until you try,” she quipped.

He shrugged. “Either way, I don’t want you to worry. I will find a way.”

Rey squeezed his hand and smiled at him before resting her head on his shoulder. “I know you will.”

As they settled into the crackling mattress underneath a warm quilt in their bedroom that night, Rey took a look around the small, plain room and snuggled in Ren’s chest. The small bedroom was dark and unfamiliar, with the only sound being the soft breath of Padme from her wooden cradle. But it was theirs, and there was no curtains or canopy to cage them in.

Ren’s arms came around her. He was a comfort to her in this dark room. She buried her face into his neck, which smelt very nice and very Ren. He kissed her hair and cuddled her close, making her feel safe.

“I love you,” she murmured, and she heard his smile through his voice.

“I love you too,” he said.

“Do you think we’ll ever return to our country?” Rey asked. “To see Versailles one more time? It was our home for so long. It was where Padme was born.”

Ren thought for a moment, then shook his head slowly.

“It’s just not safe,” he said lowly. “We are lucky to have gotten out alive. Besides, I think it is time for a new start for us. We must forget the past, and move on.”

Rey edged a little closer to him and listened to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

“I’m glad Padme is so young,” she whispered. “She won’t remember.”

Ren’s fingers brushed Rey’s cheek. “You will,” he replied. “And it will be a burden. Let it go, my love. Let it go.”

Rey did not reply. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to let it go. The image of the shimmering palace was still stuck in her mind, and she remembered much more than just the fear and the unhappiness she had felt there. She remembered falling in love, and seeing her child for the first time. Of being breathlessly overjoyed when they had confessed their love for each other.

“I won’t forget,” she said stubbornly to Ren. “I’ll never forget.”

He sighed and kissed her forehead. “So be it,” he replied. “But do not yearn for it. That time is past. It may be a glittering memory, but it will never again be reality.”

“I know,” Rey said. “But someone has to remember it all. Someone has to pass on the past to the next generation. So Padme and the new baby will not make the same mistakes we did.”

“Hmm,” Ren murmured. “Perhaps there’s a grain of truth in that.”

“Of course there is,” Rey said. “I’m always right.” She pressed her lips to his cheek and settled down again on his chest. Her eyes were growing heavy with memories.

Ren hummed one of the waltzes that they had danced to at their ceremonial wedding, and she knew he was remembering too. And to the lovely sound, she fell asleep, dreaming of a girl in a golden dress, dancing to her first waltz.


End file.
